My dh's father never learned how to read. Back in those days the kids did not wear shoes and worked to help support the family. Even though he could not read he was a very wonderful and insightful man. The majority of my dh's siblings are teachers and one of his siblings has her doctorates and is a doctor of psychology. The other siblings who never went to college have wonderful well paying jobs and they are happy individuals. My dh has his degree and it has NEVER-EVER helped him. In fact when he applied for a particular job years ago it required a Bachelors degree, computer experience, etc. The guy they hired didn't graduate from high school, had 12 years less experience as my dh and the guy had no knowledge of even turning on a computer. (politics as usual)! So, in our case the degree was USELESS!
I did not write this but it came to me this morning in email-I thought this thread was a good spot for it!JUST A MUM!? I don't think anyone would disagree... JUST A MUM? A woman, renewing her driver's license at the Motor Registration office, was asked by the counter clerk to state her occupation. She hesitated, uncertain how to classify herself. 'What I mean is,' explained the counter clerk, 'do you have a job or are you just a ...?' 'Of course I have a job,' snapped the woman. 'I'm a Mum.' 'We don't list 'Mum' as an occupation, 'housewife' covers it,' Said the clerk emphatically. I forgot all about her story until one day I found myself in the same situation, this time at our own Medicare office. The Clerk was obviously a career woman, poised, efficient, and possessed of a high sounding title like, 'Official Interrogator' or 'Town Registrar.' 'What is your occupation?' she probed. What made me say it? I do not know. The words simply popped out. 'I'm a Research Associate in the field of Child Development and Human Relations.' The clerk paused, ball-point pen frozen in midair and looked up as though she had not heard right. I repeated the title slowly emphasizing the most significant words. Then I stared with wonder as my pronouncement was written, in bold, black ink on the official questionnaire. 'Might I ask,' said the clerk with new interest, 'just what you do in your field?' Coolly, without any trace of fluster in my voice, I heard myself reply, 'I have a continuing program of research, (what mother doesn't) In the laboratory and in the field, (normally I would have said indoors and out). I'm working for my Masters, (first the Lord and then the whole family) and already have four credits (all daughters). Of course, the job is one of the most demanding in the humanities, (any mother care to disagree?) and I often work 14 hours a day, (24 is more like it). But the job is more challenging than most run-of-the-mill careers and the rewards are more of a satisfaction rather than just money.' There was an increasing note of respect in the clerk's voice as she completed the form, stood up, and personally ushered me to the door. As I drove into our driveway, buoyed up by my glamorous new career, I was greeted by my lab assistants -- ages 13, 7, and 3. Upstairs I could hear our new experimental model, (a 6 month old baby) in the child development program, testing out a new vocal pattern. I felt I had scored a beat on bureaucracy! And I had gone on the official records as someone more distinguished and indispensable to mankind than 'just another Mum.' Motherhood! What a glorious career! Especially when there's a title on the door. Does this make grandmothers 'Senior Research associates in the field of Child Development and Human Relations' And great grandmothers 'Executive Senior Research Associates? I think so!!! I also think it makes Aunts 'Associate Research Assistants.' Please send this to another Mum, Grandmother, Aunt, And other friends you know. May your troubles be less, Your blessings be more, And nothing but happiness come through your door!
I have not read the thread through yet............. Not all kids are going to college. Perhaps this student is just not going. This oculd be for many reasoins, poor academic perforance, too into the party life, has already selected a non college trade etc etc. Regardless of whether one had been to college, it is a good thing when a parent recognizes and accepts what they are dealing with with there kids according to what and who they are. Not all kids are interested in or cut out for college. Not everyone wants to work in an office cube, or have a white collar job. There are many many ways to be successful without going to college. My brother makes nearly figures a year as a service manager for a high end engine shop. He has been working on cars since he was a kid, and actually working for money since 12 when he started changing oil and spark plugs on school buses at the local gas station. He competed at the national level with DECA in high school. My other brother a high school drop out, was a flight engineer in the Navy when he retired. He had started out as an aviation electricion on helicopters then became part of a P3 flight crew after being and electronics instructor for a couple of years in between. After retirement he went into management with FedEX. If you get and read the Millionaire Next Door, you will see in the statistics in that book that a great deal of wealth in this country is made and held (the key part here actually) by skilled trades men. When we lived in E. TN, there was a young man who did lawn work in our area. Each year he bought 90 days same as cash a new trailor, mowers etc and paid them off by the end of summer. He was in Jr. college for horticulture, and was running 5 yard crews with paid for equiptment by time he had a 2 year degree. He did not go on in college that I know of. I only do it part time, but I have a sucessful part time income from doing computer repair and consulting. Not one customer has asked for credentials. I have none in that field despite having gone to college and being just short of a degree in biology. If I decide to get credentials, I will take books study them, practice in virtual or real networking environments then take certification tests. I still would not have to go to college. Reading the right forums, magazines, and taking on the right mix of projects keeps skills up in my line of work. I am considering it my old line of work however, as since we moved I so want to take on another type of job. I might just recreate myself again with no college. One of the most overlook groups of well paid professionals are salesmen and saleswomen. A great many folks make really good incomes representing reputable companies and explaining the benifits of their products and services to other businesses. Salesmen have a bad rap due to door to door scams and used car sales men and the like, but not all sales jobs are like that. More and more there are young people, especially young men who are opting not to go to college. This might be a sign of what types of jobs are available in the economy or it could be that colleges are hostile environments for certain young men these days. I could also have to do with seeing older freinds finish school and taking non professional jobs, or making less at a non professional jobs than the guy who stayed home to swing a hammer.
Well they can still move out and be on their own without going to college lol. I did! Moved out when I was 19, got my own apt, worked full time and was still going to community college at that time. 2nd year I had outgrown my little studio apt thanks to mt biking and backpacking/hiking so I had to find roomates just so I'd have more room. By my 2nd year out of the house I was sharing a 3br house in a nice part of town and we were all into the same outdoorsy things. I had a blast and I learned so much about myself. Moved to Seattle when I was 23, completely on my own, didn't know a soul there- did find out I had a cousin there after I'd been there for about 6 months. So it is possible to do something with your life without going to college. When my mom and I were in Maine we had dinner at a restaurant and our busboy goes to Europe every summer- a different part of Europe. He comes home, works from fall to spring, saves up money for Europe, and goes there and works but mostly hikes and climbs wherever he can. Really really neat kid and his sister does the same thing except she is a few years younger and IS going to college but both work at the same restaurant. Different kids have different goals in life. I think for us it's just encouraging dd to be a Godly woman, make good choices, keep her good values and morals strong, and to be happy. If not going to college is what she chooses, I'm certainly not going to shun her for it like my mom did. I'm 32 and she's finally given up that battle LOL.
I like all these thoughts. I like your "Just a Mum" essay, TMom. That reminds me of a committee I was on several years ago--the only woman. And the others all had masters and doctors degrees. The day we went around the room introducing ourselves, I decided not even to mention my formal educational history. I said something like your "Mum" said. I can't believe now that I really did! It went something like: "I'm the chief manager of keeping our home environment healthful and wholesome, and I'm the curriculum designer and purchaser for our educational program. My main responsibility is to train, to their maximum potential, future citizens of the United States and the Kingdom of God." There was a l-o-n-g silence before the next man introduced himself. Finally he said something humble, like, "Well, in comparison to that, my role doesn't sound all that important. I'm hired to do...such and such..." Everyone laughed then, and our committee went on to function very well together. I think that we mothers/teachers often have a diminished view of ourselves that we portray to others, instead of seeing our role as the high calling that it is. It's been a more challenging route than any high-paying professional job I've ever considered or had or wanted to have. But it's my dream-come-true. And when I lay my burdens down and pick up some crowns to lay at Jesus' feet, I hope that home-making will be one of them. I hope that it sparkles!
My dh is always telling me how important my job is, often times I let myself belive that I am nothing, a nobody and am doing nothing worth wile but wasting my time trying to teach my kids. But then dh reminds me how much I really am doing and how I am shaping tomorrows world in teaching my children today... I also have been called an Educational Consultant, and a Homeschool Consultant! This is cool too cause I love to share about home schooling with the ladies at our church, in our neighborhood and just plane everywhere I go! I love to be questioned most of the time, about our school, I actually broach the subject a lot! hehe
Don't disparage yourself girl! You are doing the MOST important job in the ENTIRE world! It may not draw an actual paycheck but your work DOES have value, lots of value. Add up how much it would cost to have someone come in and teach your kids or how much private school is? Maid service to cook and clean. Taxi service. You know what I mean. Here's a big hug for you, you are important! :love:
Tmom, our family has experienced something that maybe I should share on this thread, if you don't mind, and that is that no matter how diligently we parents plan and no matter how fervently we pray, our children still have a divinely-ordained right to choose good or evil. They can, if they so desire, throw away everything they've been taught and all the opportunities we've sought out for them. They can mock our efforts to train them well. You asked what our children wanted to be when they grew up: Oldest one: to be as wild and worldly as possible. 2nd one: It changed through the years from farming with horse-drawn equipment to being curator at the London Museum, to being a mother and pastor's wife. 3rd: Missionary, mother 4th: Antique car dealer How have they succeeded? Beyond their dreams, all of them! Ds #1 became our beloved prodigal, broke his back, tainted his reputation, and ruined his first marriage on his detour away from righteousness. But God, who hears and answers prayer, kept him true to his childhood promises and brought him back to the Cross! Dd#1 finished homeschool hs at 16, flew through a year of college, married, and sampled several jobs. When she applied for a paper-stuffing job at a newspaper, she was told that they were also looking for a photographer/ journalist/ computer lay-out designer, and did she have any experience in that department? Her answer: "No, but I'm a fast learner!" Got the job, was asked to name her salary, and bought us a subscription to the paper so we can read her articles and admire how she designs the paper. Oh, yes! She is now blissfully pregnant and won't look back when she gives up the job when Baby comes. Dd #2 went with me on a short-term mission trip to Africa, where she re-evaluated her call. She hopes to finish hs next year and maybe go to a Bible college. Ds#2 (17) sells old cars throughout the United States and paid for and owns a better pickup than his dad! I just include that fact, because--amazingly!--he's way out in front of his siblings, financially, despite some learning challenges. Is this post too long? If so please forgive me. It's not that I'm bragging. There's been a lot of sorrow on our journey. I'm writing with humility that no matter how hard we try, we can't predict what our children will do--college or no college.
Prairie I just love what you wrote. Thank you so much for sharing that. I think stories like these gives moms with smaller children hope for the future.
Prairie, you kids sound awesome! I am very impressed with dd#4! I think you have shown what our children can be if we allow them the freedom to allow God to direct their paths and not our preconditioned view of the world. Thanks so much for writing that post. Your kids sound wonderful! God really knew where to place those children!
Really, gals? I was afraid sharing sorrows and detours might transmit fear. I'm so glad that didn't happen! My hopes and plans have taken so many readjustments that at tiimes I can hardly believe I'm me! I have such high ideals, and sometimes when I post what I believe or work toward, it sounds like I'm preaching or proud or something when I know too well my own and our family's trials, sins, and failures. There's such a disparity! So I want to show both sides and admit that there's a huge gap in the middle (between what our family reaches for and what we actually do) which is in constant need of God's grace. Thanks for letting me know that sharing these things didn't discourage you.
Prairie Home, once again you've brought tears to my eyes! You have the most beautiful soul, I wish I lived near you!
Hey, we have to keep it real Prairie! And I appreciate you being real with us and sharing because it showed me that no matter what happens, I know my kids are grounded inside and thats what counts.. so if they don't get what they want in life its not about them anyway you kwim! Hey I want to add here, I had a child ask me yesterday "How will (dd) graduate if she keeps homeschooling?" lol, she thought if you home schooled you didn't finish schoolling hehe. Mind you this is an 11 year old little girl who never knew what home school was untill she met my dd. But I thought it was cute!
That is cute! And right-O! Life is not about them or us, either. I try to keep that in mind. What's neat about this son's money is that with some of his earnings, he's beautifying the yard. You can see part of the hedge surrounding our house on one of his car pictures on ebay. His grandpa planted the hedge a generation ago, and now ds keeps it neatly trimmed. We can't afford some of the ideas he has of landscaping, but he has freedom to spend his own money doing innovative things, which he does. 'Reminds me of Katie's (MamaBear's) 17 year old son who is redoing their kitchen from orange to a light tile! If he had been subjected to gov. school, I have no doubt but that this particular fine young man (our ds--also 17) would have had his self-esteem shattered and may never have recovered sufficiently to do man-to-man bargaining and salesmanship on the level he is doing now. He would merely have been passed from grade to grade, with a focus on what he could not do, acutely aware of peer evaluations, and very far from having a clue what all he could offer in life. Oh, yes, this is cute, too. He doesn't have an interest in missions, but he told his twin sis he'd help support her in her mission work! Thanks, friends, for encouraging me to share. And thanks, TMom for letting me tell about both joy and sorrow on your thread. It does relate to your original question whether college is neccessary for "success" in life.
