What would you do?

I would like to answer these questions.

My husband and I have been praying since before our daughter was born that He would provide for her the husband He wants her to have. God has never let me down yet.

However, if my only child told me she was gay, I would be just as sad as when my sister left her husband and her child just because she did not want to be married to a man who liked staying at home. It is a free will choice, but to give people in my family the impression that what they do--even if it does not affect me directly--does not hurt me, as I think it also hurts the Lord, would be living a lie. If they loved me as much as I loved them, they would be just as understanding to my feelings on the matter as they would expect me to be about theirs.

Yes. She was one of my closest friends in church during our high school years. I even worked with her later on when she had moved in with her partner.

And, to make a point about behavior, I knew without knowing, because as close as we were, she did not "come out" until after high school.

No. However, going back to the subject, talking on a message board adult to adult is quite different than taking your children to a function hosted by a gay couple. I am already am secure in who I am--even with all my flaws--but children...well, how many times has a child tried out being someone else like Spiderman or Hannah Montana or a Jedi Knight?

 

I still do not see what harm anyone thinks this gay couple may do to children. It is so ridiculous to me! I mean I am sitting here reading all of this thinking of my best friend and her partner and how this conversation could easily be about them and it makes me sad and mad all at the same time. What do you think they will do? Hold a public same sex love makeout session for the kiddos? Isn't this just suppose to be a homeschool Thanksgiving celebration? So what I see here is that just having your children around them, near them at the same function, is going to hurt them and damage them somehow. What if they weren't hosting? What if they were just attending? So what now that you know they are gay would you be dropping out of the whole group?

A kid trying to be Hanna Montana or Spiderman is so totally in a different zone than trying to be gay. If you really feel like your child being around a gay couple will make them want to pretend to be gay then maybe you haven't done something right in raising them. Come on! How many kids are going to act gay after going to a function like this? Now you are just grasping at straws.

This whole thing is so hatefilled it sickens me.

 

Wow, thanks for being so transparent. I feel the same way. My list of crap is so long.

 

I just want to point out that not everyone's journey in life leads them at the same pace, and in the same direction.

One cannot force another person to be OK with something they are not OK with. You can call them names. You can argue your side. But in the end it's a personal decision. It's based on who you are, your beliefs, your relationships with others, your experiences, your morals, your religion.

I am not comfortable with high buildings. You all can call me silly and point out how it's ridiculous. But that's me, based on my experiences and who I am.

I think it's OK to not be comfortable around homosexuals if that's who you are. You have your reasons.

It's also OK to have them as your best friend. You have your reasons.

Both have legit reasons.

Live your life the way YOU see fit. Follow your religion (whatever it is) and your own morals. In the end YOU have to answer to your God. Not the person next to you, not even your husband. You can't say "but so-and-so told me to." We will all be responsible for our own actions.

Just my $.02

 

Beautifully said!

 

Ahhhh the voice of reason!

 

finally free spirit!

finally someone who understands, its not about passing judgement. we are all convicted by God in unique ways, and if that way is to obstain from going to this party, then that is our choice. it doesnt need to be judged, and we shouldnt be made to feel bad about our decision. we are all different and unique and thats how God made us.

 

Exactly!

Others may judge you. But in the end, you judge yourself, and God judges you. It's really the only thing that matters.

That being said, you can choose to hang around people who share your similar beliefs. I like finding people who believe the same things I do. We have fellowship.

However, I also find much to admire in those who believe in something different. I admire many on this forum who stick to their beliefs. I admire their strength and conviction, and I hope to have the same strength and conviction in my beliefs.

 

I can understand why this subject holds a personal interest and why you have such strong feelings, but this couple is not your best friend and her partner. Do you feel you need to defend all gays, even ones you do not know and have never witnessed how they act, because it could be them?

Personally, I seek the Lord on these matters. As I see it, He is the One in charge of my daughter's education and life experiences, so I do not need to have the burden of wondering what is right and wrong for her.

I have not seen anything in this thread that is hate-filled and I certainly have not hated anyone just because he/she is gay.

As to grasping at straws, I have worked with youth for several years in my churches before I had one myself and you might be surprised what they imitate when they are not around their parents. I am not suggesting that a gay couple cannot be discreet, but that even in their discretion observant children can pick up certain "tells" and I think they are more observant in that way because they are in such a learn mode with all their senses. Just a for instance: Would you look at other men (or women) the way you look at my your husband and don't you think others notice that?

I very much liked what FreeSpirit wrote.

 

Faith -

In answer to your questions:

What would be your thoughts and feelings if one day when one of your children were old enough and came to you and told you they had fell in love with someone of the same sex? I would hope I would be able to handle it....sounds flippant, but I honestly don't know how to answer how I would handle it. I wouldn't stop loving my child though.

And second apart from monkeymomma and crazy momma , (im sorry i singled you two out) has anyone been in a close friendship with someone who is gay?
My best friend in highschool and a few years beyond was gay. I didn't learn this till senior year.

And lastly in response to a comment monkeymomma (apologies again)posted would you boycott the board or refuse to post or come here if you discovered a member was gay??? Absolutely not.

Now, I have to put my two cents in where this discussion has lead. It's honestly not to stir the pot or upset anyone.

I could post all kinds of bible quotes, but I think the best sum is the golden rule..."Love God with all your mind, heart and soul. And love your neighbor as yourself." Not, love just those you feel are good, or love just the rich or pretty, but love your neighbor. So then the question to answer is "Who is your neighbor??"

Isn't that in a sense "loving the sinner and not the sin"??

Monkeymama, I really don't believe anyone was being intentionally hurtful or "hatefilled". No one was attacking your friends directly.
You and I both know there are heterosexual couples who are rather, um, publicly graphic of their affections. I personally have seen the same of homosexual couples. I just advised to be prepared to leave the field trip if needed. That was not to even suggest that just because they are gay, they will be blatantly graphic.

As with ANY situation, you should always be prepared to leave if need be. I would offer the same advice to someone going to a science program. If they start expounding on Darwin's Therory and you haven't explained it to your child, would you just sit there and smile? (I know it's a bit lame of a comparrison, but realize I'm functioning on little sleep, so please understand the jist of it.)

So, on that note too, aren't we asked to give? Aren't we told to feed the hungry? clothe the naked? visit the imprisoned? care for the sick? etc. etc.? So, showing our love to our neighbor.

Just my two cents.

 

I don't know....I've just been reading this thread. It's very interesting.

The comment about not being comfortable around gay people and that's just you....what if someone said that about black people? What if they said 'I'm not comfortable around black people, so I just don't want my children around them'. Would that make it any less wrong?

I personally have a live and let live, love and let love attitude. It is not our place to say that their behavior or action is wrong. It is up to God to decide and quite honestly, NOONE knows what God says or does to Gay people when they enter heaven. We've not been there! No one has that has come back and said "okay, this is how it works". Only Jesus who has said that we are to love everyone....he sat down to dinner with people who others considered sinners. He loved them and did not DISCRIMINATE against them, regardless! He loved them and treated them with the same compassion that he did the most devout! He didn't say "okay, don't let the kids come over here, I'm going to eat with these people, but don't let the kids!"???

I try to think of what would Jesus do in that situation and I come to the conclusion a long time ago that Jesus would not treat them any differently than others. Therefore, I shouldn't! Who am I to think that I can tell God's will???? Am I so blatant and self assured?

Would you not let Gay people worship in your church? I would see nothing wrong with it. If you say no, then you would shut the doors to the word of God on someone based on how you feel about it?

Also, a final note, the Bible is a translation...it never says homosexuals in the KJV or the original. The words from original Hebrew were not easy to translate into English. When they spoke of such things, they were speaking of sexual deviants who were rapping people. Just a thought.

And my 2 cents

 

As I see it, in regards to the OP, this thread was not about comfort, it was about morality.

Yes, Jesus sat with immoral people (as an adult), but He sat with those who were willing to repent, who were at least willing to listen to him. He also told his disciples to shake the sand from their sandals when leaving towns that did not accept their message about God's love. That, in the Hebrew tradition, was not just a way to say "let it go"; it actually was a great insult.

I have gone to a church where at least one gay person was attending, but why ask this question? Everyone should be going to the church where God wants them to be. I have been in churches that I did not feel comfortable in (for various reasons) and yet knew I had been led to be there for God's purpose.

I personally have found that when a person desires to please the Lord, he seeks the Lord, and when a person seeks the Lord's will on any matter that He is quite able and willing to give His own answer.

 

Okay, real quick. The word homo may not be in the Bible. Many words used back than are different than today. Like the word gay. It used to mean happy.

Anyway, it is clear in passages that a man lying with a man and women with women is wrong and sinful.

Just had to clarify that.

 

thats right!

it does say a man with a man, so that is clearly homosexual behavior. and there is a huge difference between black and homo! How can you compare these two? Being black isnt a sin! Why would you compare being black, something that they are born, to being gay? i know what your thinking, that they are born gay, but i dont know how you can prove that? But Black vs. Gay? NO COMPARISON! Sorry!

 

You all can justify your aversion to these people anyway you want but call it what it is. You can spout Bible verses all day long but it doesn't change anything. I like what Autumn wrote.

And no Mammaof3peas - being black is not a sin but people discriminate against them anyway. You can feel whatever you please but there is a comparison there. Discrimination against someone you don't feel comfortable around be it black or hispanic or asian or gay or disabled.

So I want to know the answer to the question of whether or not you'd allow gay people to worship in your church. If the answer is yes then how is being around them at church any different than being around them at a homeschool function? If the answer is no then I think the ball is in God's court to judge you for your hatefilled ways and for shutting off the word of God to these people.

 

I have to agree with Tiffany and Autumn, Like I said before I have taught my children to treat others like they would want to be treated. No matter what color, they are, what they do or wear. Because guess what ladies we all put our pants on the same way every morning no matter who are or what we do. We are not here to judge the only one that needs to Judge like Autumn said is God he is the one, what he does with them up there, who knows. We are here on earth to love and teach our children.
How would like it if you child had a pimple on his face and no one would let him in to your church or dinner because of that or if you child wasn't the right color. You wouldn't like it.
I think we need to open our eyes and love everyone for whom they are not what they do or wear. These two ladies are more then likely the sweetest people on earth. What goes on BEHIND there CLOSE doors is up to them and what happens behind our CLOSE is our business.

 

The most ironic part of this is simply:

If one was to truly treat everyone the way he wished to be treated, as Jesus commanded, then whether someone else would discriminate against another would not upset the one at all. He would not be concerned about how another person treats someone else, because he would just love them regardless of what they do or what they believe.

To do anything else would be to discriminate against the other for the mere fact that he does not practice what you believe.

I say this, not to upset anyone, but to prove a point. I accept that I discriminate and that every person I know does the same in some fashion. I would even venture to say that the Lord Himself discriminates--Any choice made in favor of one thing is also a discrimination against something else.

As I see it, everyone discriminates--EVERYONE!!!

 

MM...I find this response harsh. My concern is not about "catching gay" etc. It's about what is appropriate to expose a 9, 7 and 3 year old child to.

To me it's about setting an appropriate example for my children. If attending, and loving the sinner, hating the sin is the right example, than that is what I will follow.

SIN IS SIN.

Now. That being said, I would have the same reservations to taking my child to the house of a known Drug abuser, known sexually promiscuous, known "cheater", known "fill in the blank". Is it appropriate to expose my children to them at their ages? No. Do I view their sin the same as homosexuality? Yes.

Now I'm going back to the rest of the responses.

I was a little hurt by your harshness.

 

Thank you for butting in. I think your response was kind, well thought out, and very to the point.

(I have since prayed about this quite a bit and AM GOING. It's too great an educational opportunity that I want for my kids. Many of their friends will be there. And if it spawns conversations...I will certainly tender it with how you've placed it here).

Thank you, again for butting in.

 

Actually, this is a very good point. When one studies the Hebrew culture, it becomes evident that the fear of and reverence for God was so great some things were too terrible to speak or write the words to describe them.