Today we drove by one of our local elementary schools, the kids were outside..all of a sudden I hear "mom thats M****'s school, I want to go there" Ok Why do you want to go there? "it looks like fun". at that brief moment I 2nd guessed myself. I KNOW Im doing the right thing and giving her a great education(god I hope so) but its comments that make me go 'Hugh'. I have no doubt she would have fun in school; but she can not get the 1 on 1 attention, heck even the 5 on 1 attention if needed they have 34 in a 1st grade class this year. Plus I work afternoons, if she went to school all day Id never see her. and mornings would be pure hell! I know that! I dont know I'm just having one of those weeks, hearing her say "I want to go there" just kinda 'hit me' I suppose. Just rambling ai guess.
I think that is totally normal. My son is only 3, and for some reason has a big fear of school (I promise I NEVER said anything bad about it to him--I taught for 6 years and my mom taught for 30+ years!), so I have not faced his comments, but I found I needed to get over my own wishes. I always wanted to be the PTA mom and volunteer at my kids' school--you know, do the fun part of the teaching stuff w/o the discipline and paperwork! I wanted to go to conferences and hear the teachers gush about my children (because I know they would be brilliant saints!:lol and wanted the teachers to be excited if they saw one of my kids on their class list. But I had to step back and realize that was all about me and I needed to let it go. OK Now I look like an awful person!
I think that is part of the process... I never set out to hs Kiddo. I used to teach. I loved the actual teaching part of it...HATED the paper work aspect, discipline, problems, staff room (never had the luck to work with teachers who really wanted to be where they were) I hated the poverty and abuses these kids were going through and no one was willing to do anything about...I could go on... Yet, I loved my students. I loved the daily interaction and the excitement on their faces. Then, when Kiddo entered Kindergarten and started being bullied with no one but his teacher willing to help in any way, AND at her suggestion, I decided to pull him out and finish K at home (didn't have to register for it just pulled him out). BUT for Grade One, I needed a plan of some kind for the district to see and for US, to know where we are going and what we are doing. ONCE AGAIN - the dreaded paper work. For about a week there, I seriously considered packing it in and just finding a different school for him to attend. I was telling myself "I left teaching because of this...planning, paper work, lesson plans, assessments..." After having him, I wanted to the THE stay at home mom...parents board...school plays...volunteering at the school...the house where all the kids hung out because I was one of the few moms at home... But it passed when I realized just how much kiddo was looking forward to ME being his teacher. But who knows, it might show up again...
OH I felt so horrible after pulling dd from ps lol. Not because I felt like I was doing the wrong thing, but because it was so hard on HER. The rules are rather vague here so when I turned in my letter to remove her and dh faxed it, it was that day we had to pull her- a week before Christmas. Well she missed the Christmas party, the Christmas concert, ect. She cried, and I know she was very upset with me. The first couple months were really hard, and I questioned whether we'd done the right thing MANY times. Every day the bus would go by she'd tell me she missed the bus and her friends. Yet when I asked who her friends were she'd give me 3 names of kids that weren't even AT the school. She never made any friends in her class lol. But now we are just fine. She sees the bus go by and is glad she doesn't have to get on it, looks forward to art class and her friends there, and has told me she's glad we do school at home because she's not bored anymore. I think it's normal to feel that way. On the days when she's missing things we go do something really fun lol. So I can say "See, I bet you wouldn't get to do this in school!" Haven't had to do that since this past year though.
I sometimes feel a little bad for keeping Elijah home. But the funny thing is that according to the district, he's 19 days too young to have started K this year anyhow. He really wants to go to school and I can't seem to get him to understand that he's too little while at the same time telling him he's big enough (does that make sense? See, I can't even explain it to adults...lol).
I sometimes think man what am I doing, but it is for different reasons. Garrett can have quite the attitude.. ok he almost always has an attitude. He hates being told what to do! I often think man if I just sent him back to the sharks I would have a few hours a day of peace. I know it's not the right thing to do though. When he gets me to my breaking point, which is more often than not these days, my hubby says honey if you can't handle it then you can send him back. Part of why I pulled him out was because he was labeled as a trouble maker. The school would call me at least once a week.. usually to tattle on him for stupid things.. like he ate his eraser again, or he keeps dropping his pencil. I honestly don't know which I find more frustrating, the calls I got in which a teacher or teachers aid would litterally make me feel like I was doing nothing as a parent OR the attitude I have to deal with now.
Oh my goodness. This is the second post someone has written that could have been me writing it! I taught, I felt the same way about paperwork, I felt the same way about school and never planned to homeschool.....!!! This is our 10th year now, and I no longer feel that way! I can't imagine sending my kids to ps, EVER! The school my junior in highschool son is going to is a Christian, conservative, missions oriented school, or I'd never have sent him there! I can't imagine NOT homeschooling now! I love it---well, there are "those days"! But they pass, and I am thrilled to have this opportunity to spend time with my kids while I can!
Yep, been there. Since we live the lifestyle we do, sometime the kids go months without seeing other kids. They play very well together and do nicely when we see other kids, but what are they missing? Am I depriving them of a "normal" childhood? They don't belong to any groups or clubs. They don't play team sports or do group activities. They don't have a "best" friend. However, they have been to 30 states and have seen more in their short lives than most people ever will. They have pen pals and make friends wherever they go. They get involved in activities whenever we can. I hope this will make them interesting adults and prepared to interact with a variety of people and personalities. They love HSing and the life we live, but I know they would like the daily interaction they would get from PS. That being said, they also understand all about the pressures involved in PS. For example, bullies, peer pressure, gangs (yep, we have them in middles school), drugs, smoking, social acceptance. My DS has Asperger's Syndrome. He was in a special ed. class in PS through 3rd grade. This was a very difficult time for all of us. Right now he is 13, but not your typical 13 yr. old. He is very immature for his age and would never fit in with the kids in his age group. He still plays with Legos and Hot wheels. He enjoys playing with his 10 yr. old sister. They are very creative and imaginative in their fantasy play. This is not something you would typically see a 13 year old doing. However, I am OK with all of it. He can grow and mature at his pace, not because there is peer pressure to conform to the "norm." No one will make fun of him because he is "odd" or "weird" or "different." They understand that we would not enjoy the life we are enjoying right now if we did not HS. Sorry I got so long-winded, I think all kids go through the "I wanna go to PS" stage. Just know you are doing an amazing job and what is the best for your child.
I felt like sending my oldest to school today after spending ALL MORNING on TWO subjects. There's my yell for the day. I know that in school she wouldn't get way with how she was acting this morning. I have a hard time seperating mom/teacher mode, KWIM? WHen I spend more time cleaning or chasing after 2 preschoolers, I feel that she do better in school. Then I remeber why I pulled her to begine with and why the younger two will be staying home too. We do walk pass the school or take walks while everyone is going to school. I asked her this morning about going back and she said no, home is more fun. What school lets you go play Barbies or go outside in between lessons while the the teacher (mom) gets ready for the next one?
I stopped stressing once I realized that I don't have to do "school at home". If Samantha spends all morning doing math and then all afternoon reading then I am okay with that. If the next day she reads about monkeys (her fav animal) all morning and does a science experiment after lunch and nothing else I am okay with that too. No matter what she is doing she is learning. Who says she has to learn the same thing at the same time as other kids. I trust she will know a lot more about a lot more things than ps kids her age. Everything can be a learning experince. Just try to relax and not stress. You are not going to ruin your child!!
Oh Tiffany.. I wish I could relax to the point that you have. I read about unschoolers with envy! I could never be that lax, but it would be nice to be a little more open.
Oh we aren't unschoolers. We use curriculum! We are just relaxed in the way we use it. I realized I needed to relax after many tears last year. It just wasn't worth it to completly stress both of us out.
lol.. I kinda knew you used curriculum, it just didn't come out right when I typed it.. I meant I wish I could find that happy medium.. with a curriculum, but not stressing about it. I am trying hard this year to ease up some... last year had some major meltdowns.
I'm right there with ya! We had some pretty serious meltdowns here. I didn't want that to happen this year. Also my thought is if she is really into something why make her stop and go to something else. For instance our first science unit study this year is on killer whales - a topic she chose. So if she is reading her books and taking notes and has been at it for a while and is enjoying it why stop her to do math or whatever else I deem necessary? That is how I relaxed this year. I can't imagine not having a curriculum!! That scares me!!
WARNING: Thread hijack in progress......... TIFFANY (Monkey Mama): CONGRATULATIONS on hitting 2000 posts!!!! You go girl---hurry up and catch up with me!!! END of Thread Hijack, you may no go about your regular postings.........
I have those days too, when I'm worried about if I'm doing the right thing. I think it's normal to second guess ourselves but after everything we been through with ps, I go AHHH, I remember why I'm hs. Yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It always helps to when I talk to friends about their children in ps and what's going on. I keep telling myself I am raising my children not of this world but of God's world. Okay, Jumping off my soapbox.
Wow, I never realized these feelings of doubt were so common--and all this time I thought I was the odd one out. My own experience with school--both academic & social--were positive, so when my girls BEG me to go to "real" school I can really start to second-guess myself. But at their ages, I realize it's about the novelty of riding the bus, sitting a "cool" desks, etc. When I get overwhelmed at home, my husband will say "Why don't you send them to PS, even if it's just for one year until you can get the housework under control." There have been a couple of times when I have felt so overwhelmed that I did consider sending them to PS temporarily, but my real fear was that instead of them saying "Oh Mom, HS really is more interesting than PS. Please let us HS again!" they would say "No way, Mom, do we want to go back to HSing. We are having so much fun at "real" school. We want to be with our friends." That fear was especially evident during the last two years when we were with the online school. During that time, HS was a flop for me. Now, things are much better and I'm starting to feel more confident that, by the end of this school year, my girls would chose HS over PS once the "novelties" of PS wore off. And even though PS was fun for me, truthfully, when I think back to the whole friend-making issue and other social activities I realize that there wasn't much that I remember from that time of my life so it must not have been all that significant. (Come to think of it, there's not alot along the academic line that I remember either!!:shock: It's a good thing I have the chance to rediscover the joy of learning while HSing!!) With the exception of a couple of friendships that I have maintained since 9th grade, not much of my current life was impacted by these supposed benefits of public school. And, it seems lately that for every time I experience doubt about HSing, several issues will arise regarding PS that makes me remember that I am indeed making the right choice.
