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Old 07-08-2012, 12:27 AM
JoannaGar19 JoannaGar19 is offline
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Family doesn't Support Homeschooling

Hello Everyone... this is my very first post on this site and to be honest I just signed up a few minutes ago. I felt I needed support and fast haha Quick intro here. I am a Christian momma of a 4 year old boy and we started HS about a month ago (moving along slowly). Now my husband and I decided it would be an amazing experience to move to Mexico for 6 months (w/ the hubby's family)to really change things up and help our son pick up the language quickly. I thought it would be perfect to teach him both in English and Spanish. Back home (California) I have the full support of both grandparents and family members (a few HS themselves).

So here I am in a different country that has NEVER heard of homeschooling!! The first few weeks here I had to explain the idea of HS to every single family member and defend my view point. It worked pretty well and I was feeling confident. That is until the family got pretty mean about it. They began picking on my abilities as a teacher and said I was being a selfish mom. My husbands aunt went so far to pre-register my son for school. This has been going on for 6 weeks and to be honest I am tired and discouraged. (sorry if I am sounding like a pitty party here).

I know you are wondering what my husband has to say about all of this.. He had to go back to CA on a family emergency and my son and I decided to stay. Most of the picking on happened when he was gone. I have mentoned to him what happened and he is beyond sorry I've had to deal w/ them. I know the last thing he wants is a family fued. We go home towards the end of November so we still have a little while to go O.o

Oh wow this is a long one... Can anyone give me any advice as to how to deal w/ his family or people in general who don't agree w/ me homeschooling. Also a side note here... My husbands family is of a different faith and sometimes I think they could be using that as amo.

I promise after this post not to sound so whiney lol
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Old 07-08-2012, 03:44 AM
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Emjay Emjay is offline
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Welcome, I hope you find some of the support you need here, there's a lot of lovely people who have great advice. Hopefully one of them answers soon.

You don't sound whiney or like you're having a pity party. Homeschooling can be hard even with the love and support of those around you, without love and support it can be very easy to doubt yourself and your choices. Throw in a new country and culture and wow, I can only imagine how hard it must be. Everybody needs a place where they can vent. I've done a lot of venting here and received wonderful advice and support every time.

Remind yourself of the reason you and your husband chose to homeschool. You're doing it for you son, not for the approval of family (though it'd be really great to have that too). People are usually afraid of new things, people are often hostile towards things they're afraid of, homeschooling is new to them. Your son is gonna flourish and become all the proof you need that you and your husband have made the right choices.
DD 22 April 2006 + DD 11 June 2010 + DS 5 July 2012
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Old 07-08-2012, 06:05 AM
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kbabe1968 kbabe1968 is offline
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Location: Pennsylvania
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Welcome! Do not let them loosen your resolve!!!! YOU are his mother. YOU decide what is best. You were nice about it, now it's time to let them know that educating you child IS NOT anyone's decision but yours and your husbands!!!

Krista www.aldigourmet.blogspot.com
My gang: DD (14) DS (13) DD (9)

"A government big enough to give you everything you want is a government big enough to take from you everything you have." - Gerald R. Ford, August 12, 1974
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Old 07-08-2012, 07:17 AM
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Jackie Jackie is offline
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Location: Ohio
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So your husband is Mexican, and he still has family there? Are you actually STAYING WITH his family while there?

1) Are you Mexican also, or could there by some cultural clashes, and this is just one more thing? Do you get along with them otherwise?

2) Why exactly are you there in the first place? His job? Just to visit family? Can you pick up and come home any time you want, or do you have commitments there?

3) Your son is only four. Is it required that a child that young be in school in Mexico? Even in the states, most laws don't kick in until the child is six. Is there a reason why you're considering formal school that young in the first place?

4) When will your husband return to Mexico? I understand that he's sorry you're going through this, but what has he ACTUALLY DONE in dealing with his family about this? HE needs to set down the law; it is HIS RESPONSIBILITY as head of the household to set firm boundaries with them, and be sure they are respected. I know that's more difficult to do with you staying there, and him being gone.

5) Read up on the Bean Dip method of Homeschooling. http://www.homeschoolspot.com/showthread.php?t=5712

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Old 07-08-2012, 07:49 AM
julz806 julz806 is offline
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Originally Posted by Jackie View Post
3) Your son is only four. Is it required that a child that young be in school in Mexico? Even in the states, most laws don't kick in until the child is six. Is there a reason why you're considering formal school that young in the first place?
I was wondering about this too. I'm sorry you're going through this. You would think they'd be more understanding considering you're only there temporarily. If I were you, I'd try to head home early. Does your husband speak spanish? If so, he could influence your son's language skills by speaking spanish around him. I think being there is doing more harm than good if the relationships with his family are toxic, and they aren't respectful of your decisions. I would be RED HOT angry if someone went as far as to pre-register my child for school.
1st Year Homeschooler to my 1st Grader
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Old 07-08-2012, 09:10 AM
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Lindina Lindina is offline
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Location: Louisiana
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My sympathies! I'd be livid!
I fully appreciate your desire to have your son learn his heritage language by immersion. I WISH I'd had another language to be able to rear my children to be bilingual!

There's this one kid I knew who was growing up in 3 languages: Japanese with his father, Italian with his mother, and English in the community and at school! I'm still jealous!!!

I presume you and your husband aren't going to cut ties to the family in Mexico after you return home to California. I hope you will continue to raise your son bilingually. Then he can write letters to the family in Mexico, in Spanish, and they can see how much he's learned and how well he's doing by homeschooling. Send pictures. Have him read a storybook in Spanish for them on video!
Lindina - American by Birth, Christian by the Grace of God!
Mom to 2, G'amma to 3 - Teacher to 47. Schooling Other People's Kids since 2001-2014.

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Old 07-08-2012, 11:00 AM
azhomeschooler azhomeschooler is offline
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What a great language immersion opportunity. Sorry to hear that it has been more of a nightmare than anticipated. I thought the same thing about him being so young. He is of preschool age, not even old enough for kindergarten. I would have my husband speak to the family. It is his family and even if he is not there, he should be helping you so you are not treated poorly.
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Old 07-08-2012, 06:36 PM
vantage vantage is offline
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I would explain that your schooling plans are based on your reality in the USA and not a commentary on the local offerings in Mexico.

At 4 years old your child is younger than they start in the USA anyway.

I would let the child have as much language learning opportunity as possible. This cannot be replaced. You can always worry about formal schooling after November.
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Old 07-08-2012, 08:18 PM
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2littleboys 2littleboys is offline
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If you're legally still a resident of CA, I don't see how you could pre-register in Mexico anyway?? (I'm assuming he's almost 5, and they're registering him for kindergarten?) The whole situation seems weird to me. I'd try to go back home or get your husband back to Mexico as soon as possible.

Matthew chapter 10, Jesus speaking:

"34 “Do not think that I came to bring peace on earth. I did not come to bring peace but a sword. 35 For I have come to ‘set a man against his father, a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law’; 36 and ‘a man’s enemies will be those of his own household.’[e] 37 He who loves father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me. And he who loves son or daughter more than Me is not worthy of Me. 38 And he who does not take his cross and follow after Me is not worthy of Me. 39 He who finds his life will lose it, and he who loses his life for My sake will find it."
In our 7th year HS'ing radically accelerated & classically eclectic 2E boys

* DS9 (7th, Davidson Young Scholar & Aspie) - R&S Bible Geography, Vocabulary Vine & Science Vine, R&S Eng 7, Life of Fred Pre-Algebras, Apologia General, HTML5

...........* Both - Pentime, MoH 2, CAP Writing & Rhetoric, Piano, CAP Greek, Private ASL, Bowling League, Cub Scouts

* DS6 (4th, 2E & hard of hearing) - R&S Bible 7 & 8, R&S Eng 4, Seq Sp 2, WW 5 & 6, Life of Fred K-M + Fractions, Wile Elem Sciences
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Old 07-08-2012, 08:25 PM
Cornish Steve Cornish Steve is offline
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Involve the family in your son's education! That's what we did when grandparents came to visit. Have them spend time telling your son about things that happened when they grew up, the lessons they learned, and what their hopes are. Have them teach a subject that they love - or just talk about the country that they love. They have the opportunity to pass along wonderful memories and stories, only they don't see that right now.

Let's not hyphenate the church.
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