Mama Bear is angry.....

daddys3chicks · #1 04-29-2008, 05:45 PM

For the past 3 years Katie and the girl next door, Courtney, have been fast friends, even though Courtney is 2 years older. I have been telling Katie that with C being in middle school things were going to change, and not to be surprised if C didn't get mean.

Well, recently an 11 year old moved in across the street. C immediately gravitated to Libby, who even though younger, is much older acting - and meaner.

They have left Katie out a few times. The other day they were all playing together at C's house, and then decide to go across the street to L's. I watched C & L walk acorss with their arms around each other's shoulders, Katie following behind.

Tonight I was making dinner, and Katie came in the house. I could tell she was trying not to cry, so I asked her what happened.

C & L were taking their dogs for a walk. Katie wanted to go with them, but C said, "If you don't have a dog, you can't come." Grrrrrr!!!!!!!

We were outside a while ago, and C & L came back across the street from L's house. Katie told me she wanted to go play with them. I said, "If they come over here, okay, but you are not going over there and have them be mean to you again!"

Ugh. I dealt with this garbage when I was growing up and it took me a long time to not feel like the problem was me! I don't want Katie to go through that. It is all I can do not to say something to the girls, but I know that would make it worse.

I know you can't shelter your kids from life, but this is one of the reasons we are hsing. She has to deal with it in the neighborhood, I don't want her having to deal with it at school.

Must go sharpen my fangs and claws now.....

daddys3chicks · #2 04-29-2008, 05:48 PM

Oops, I meant me as mama bear to my family - not MamaBear!

MamaBear · #3 04-29-2008, 05:52 PM

When I first read your post I saw Mama Bear and then Katie, I am Mama Bear and my name is Katie!

Anyway, it is difficult to see anyone mistreat your kids. I have a tough time if someone hasn't been unkind to my kids. I just want to take a big mamabear swipe and their head!

Kids can be cruel, unfortunately a lot of the times they learn it from their parents. I've learned that I have to give my kids space to learn on their own who the dirtbags are and who aren't. As long as your child is being not physically injured, someone times they have to learn on their own how someone is.

My kids say that I have "the look" and when I get that look it won't be a good ending for that person.

I think it is actually worse when an adult is unkind with your children. That is something that I will not tolerate.

Sharpen you claws and be on your toes!

daddys3chicks · #4 04-29-2008, 05:54 PM

Yes, I know this is true. But she did make a correlation between the behavior of C and her friend Brittany at church. I am glad she can recognize that they are the same type.

Oh, and today she tells me that at the baseball game Sat night that Dh took them to, C got made because Katie took one of her french fries, and she kicked her! Never mind that C had been taking Katie's nachos and ate most of them and Katie didn't say a thing.

Ugh.

MamaBear · #5 04-29-2008, 05:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by daddys3chicks

Yes, I know this is true. But she did make a correlation between the behavior of C and her friend Brittany at church. I am glad she can recognize that they are the same type.

You will be amazed at how much your kids pick up on and not verbalize to you.

My kids understand that when someone behaves a particular way they normally are that way. Like if someone makes it their life's mission to be unkind, they normally are unhappy and unkind in general. My kids have learned that if someone is ugly with them more than a couple times they don't bother with them again.

Ava Rose · #6 04-29-2008, 05:59 PM

OH...do I relate to you!!!!!! Girls can be so mean. They also only come in even numbers. lol. When I first moved in my kid was the odd girl out since the other two little girls had known each other. As long as it was one on one they were great with my dd. As soon as she was one of three they were kinda mean. then another started to play and it made things a bit better. lol. So as long as there were 2 or 4 things worked out. My dd never played into being mean and ganging up on another girl...so she was the one they were mean to if the mood struck. One minute they loved her and the next they had to prove their loyalty to the other by being mean to her. UGH. It was so annoying.

My dd would sometimes feel bad about it and sometimes not. I tried to work things out so we only had even numbers. LOL. After a while, my dd didn't even want to play unless there were even numbers.

Girls! My dd was only around boys until she was like 6, so this was nuts to her. It just worked out that she was around boys. HOnestly, I think that helped her not play into their games or be too hurt by it.

It is hard to see your kid upset. I hope your dd can learn to handle this well. It feels terrible when a friend is a friend one day and the next is so mean.

Mrs. Mommy · #7 04-29-2008, 06:49 PM

Girls can be cruel. It is hard to see your child be the one on the receiving end of the cruelty. Sometimes talking to the ones dealing it out works and sometimes not. Depends on the kid I guess. Sometimes talking to the parents works but only if they aren't in the "not MY kid" mode.
I have never seen the movie Mean Girls because just the name makes me cringe.

becky · #8 04-30-2008, 09:46 PM

I'm sorry your dd has to deal with this. Teach her how to cope with it, and especially to stay on the high road. My Jeannie had a friend that would mistreat her regularly, so I know this junk is hard to watch and not want to pull the offending parties up for it. Stay strong, Mom.

ochumgache · #9 05-01-2008, 06:55 AM

I've been warning my daughter about this female phenomenon for years even though she's only nine now. I saw it starting with some girls in Sunday School when they turned seven. Some girls carry this snitty behavior into adulthood and into the workplace, so she can't avoid it. I just wanted her to be prepared and to guard her own thoughts and actions. Boy's don't seem to have to deal with that petal-pulling mentality of "Like you now, don't like you now, like you now" from their pals. I guess they have their own unique challenges!

MamaBear · #10 05-01-2008, 07:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ochumgache

I've been warning my daughter about this female phenomenon for years even though she's only nine now. I saw it starting with some girls in Sunday School when they turned seven. Some girls carry this snitty behavior into adulthood and into the workplace, so she can't avoid it. I just wanted her to be prepared and to guard her own thoughts and actions. Boy's don't seem to have to deal with that petal-pulling mentality of "Like you now, don't like you now, like you now" from their pals. I guess they have their own unique challenges!

LOVE it! Never heard it described like that!