Piercing through to the heart of my son

Well, thanks for the correction, which I've come to expect from you. :roll:

I have not fostered a "stop picking on so-and-so" atmosphere. In fact, if anything, I was respecting YOU as the OP by highlighting that this thread was intended for help for your query, but was diverted to another poster. I'll think twice the next time :!:

Becky won't at all mind me saying that she doesn't need our help if she is feeling picked on. She could tear us all a new one collectively, if adequately provoked and if she chose to do so. Fortunately, both "if's" have not occurred.

As to the point of Becky not saying anything if she's upset ... would it really matter anyway ??? As a point of general concern, anyone who DOES have a problem with a thread and dares to say so, bears the consequences. Usually, someone snitches to Amanda so that the thread is edited, split or otherwise censored. Personally, I don't enjoy censorship. It's one of the reasons I've avoided this place. You just can't have someone, or a few, running to the moderator every time they don't like what is being said, or think it should be moved, or whatever. It's happened more than once.

If we all did that, poor Amanda would be running through a maze, reorganizing. It's really not a place for EVERYONE's free discussion in such a case. It becomes a place organized in the stylings of a few, who either allow or disallow the free speech of others. Like lambs to the slaughter, the reaction of the provoked is taken out, but the attack is still there, which makes them look like the offender.

 

Sigh......

Kathe, I didn't take any offense. Becky asked questions, I responded best I could with the info given. I tried to state again and again that I am NOT her, nor did I know all that went on and she should take my comments with a grain of salt, which I think she did. I feel that all the comments made by EVERYONE were done so with honest discussion, not telling anyone you MUST do this or anything of the sort. Nor do I feel it's digressed too much from the original topic. We are still discussing turning the heart of a child (or young person) back to the Lord and his family.

Kathe, you commented that Kevin is not compromising the spiritual quality of the home. From what Becky has posted here, I would question that. (And I meajn QUESTION, as in I don't know one way or the other!!!) Since you say the two of you have e-mailed back and forth on this, I will assume you know more than I do, and will trust your judgement on that. I simply was going on what was being posted here.

Brooke, sorry if I helped keep this conversation going in the wrong direction!

 

What are you sighing for ??? I smell a deleted thread coming on. :roll:

To stand back and question Kevin just because he doesn't "go to church" is throwing out the baby with the bathwater. Someone already stated that "going to church" could be quite the empty gesture. In his current state, it would be.

The ladies here are always so quick to point out submission to the heads of their households. Why hasn't anyone duly implicated the head of Becky's household ??? I'm not defending her ... I'm being objective here since it's the best any one of us can do since we really don't "know" each other.

Crap flows downstream. Leadership is at the top. The math is simple.

 

Well, I sure HOPE a deleted thread isn't coming on!!! I don't think anything inappropriate has been said by anyone to cause it to be so! I do believe I said (more than once!) that unless DH is willing to do something, there's little Becky ( or anyone in similar circumstances) can do. I believe whole-heartedly that discipline must come from the head. When Mom is "forced" to be the head because of Dad's unwillngness to do so (no criticisms meant on Moms for diong what Dad refuses to do!) it causes problems with authority and respect. I've also said that church attendance in itself isn't something to get too bent out of shape at, but that disrespect is. I sense a lot of disrespect from Kevin in what Becky has said, but I also have said that only she can determine if this is a base problem or not. Nothing I've said has been meant as an attack or criticism, nor has it been meant in a "this is what you must do" way, but only to explore possibilities.

 

BECKY !!! Crawl out of your hole now before I drag ya out, girl !!!

Jackie ... when you said you would question my comment that Kevin is not seriously compromising the spirituality of the home, that pretty much takes the blame off the head, and puts it on Kevin. He's not overtly acting in a disrespectful way, generally speaking.

A husband's failure to lead is usually deliberate and damaging to everyone, a point on which we seem to agree.

 

I'm learning to keep quiet! (Woohoo). I've wanted so much to jump in and add to this thread, but fearing I would only make matters worse, I kept my mouth closed (and I am doing the same thing now).

I think we can all learn from this thread (I hope that it isn't deleted). Each of us has a family - what works in one home, might not work in another - I have no idea what the dynamics are in individual homes and so the advice/opinion that I may offer may be irrelevant to individual people. You can use it or walk away from it - we all need to do that.

Brenda

 

Are you kidding? She doesn't want to get caught between our flying dukes, LOL! Love ya, Kathe!

 

You know, Kathe, I don't mind constructive criticism at all. In fact, I am a person who appreciates it. I think that the eye rolling at me was uncalled for. I can be just as cynical as the next person, but not at the expense of a person. I think the thread after my last post demonstrates the point I was making about stepping in for someone else. And the cry out for Becky to join you is quite similar to pack behavior. You have knowingly said things you expect rebutals for and now you expect some help. You can't tell me that you didn't want Becky to get on here and deepen a division you seem to want to cause.

Now I know you are sure to get on here and say that is not at all what you were intending and that it implies some sort of deeply hidden, subconcious "thing" on my part to assume that is what you were trying to do. I've read these go rounds before, and obviously I've participated in the squabbles with you in the past or you wouldn't be rolling your eyes about it now. What is up with you? I haven't felt like lashing out for a long, long time on here, but comments like yours are just beyond my understanding.

If this gets pulled, it won't be from me. I'd just as soon let the record clearly show when the downward turn began.

Brenda, forgive me girl! I wish I could be as controlled as you are!

 

Brooke - it isn't because I haven't wanted to say something. In fact, a couple times I have started to reply to the thread but deleted it before it was able to post because I could see the same trap - you know, where my comments are over analyzed and I get eaten alive! Different things motivate different people and the bickering here isn't one of my fortes.

Brenda
For the record - I won't be reporting this thread - if the thread is pulled, it won't be because I had anything to do with it either.

 

Becky

Becky,
I have wondered this for some time now. Is Kevin's Dad your husband now or is it his stepdad?