Ok, I guess this is somewhat off topic but I am just so overwhelmed with emotions right now. I just found out I'm pregnant with my 3rd child. This was a complete surprise as we weren't "planning" on having anymore. My first two were very difficult to get pregnant with and we have dealt with years of infertility. So you would think I'd be ecstatic but I am just sort of overwhelmed. My first two were both very colicky and I NEVER slept and when I had my second I felt like I was neglecting my first because the baby was so colicky and cried all the time. So I am planning on hs'ing my oldest who will be in 1st grade this year. Now I'm really wondering if I'll be able to handle everything. I know there are many on here who have lots of kids and do just fine and if I knew this baby wouldn't be like my other two I wouldn't be so worried. I guess I don't really know what I'm even writing this post for. Maybe I just need some reassurance that it can be done. I'm thinking of starting our schooling in the summer so that we can take a good amount of time off when the baby is born (due date Dec 18th). I'm just really nervous. I am already really hard on myself and feel like I am never as good of a mom as I want to be. Sorry- just needed to get it out.
First, congratulations!!!! Second, take a deep breath- it will be ok! Third, your oldest is only in first grade- they don't need a lot of "formal" schooling! Reading, math, writing- history and science can come from books from the library. Spend time reading with them. Taking some time off as everyone adjusts to the new baby will be ok. Your older ones are so young that it won't hurt them in the long run and you will be surprised at how much they learn even though you aren't doing a lot of "formal" work!
Congrats!! I agree. First grade is the best time to go through a rough period with a newborn... if there is such a thing. We spend an hour or less on school, and even that isn't all at the same time. You'll find a way to make it work.
YEP!!! What THEY said!!! (BTW, when my third was born, my oldest was five. One day I had just sat down to nurse the baby when the phone rang. It was an important call I had been expecting, so I placed the baby on a blanket on the floor. He was NOT happy...after all, he had just figured out it was lunchtime!!!...and started fussing. I went into the other room. When I finished, the baby was no longer fussing. I go in, and NO BABY!!! I go, somewhat panicked, into the hall, and there's the 5yo with the baby on her hip, bouncing and quieting him!!! She says, "Mommy, I knew it was important, so I made him stop crying....")
Congratulations and don't worry. You will be fine. This is a great place to come when you feel overwhelmed or need to talk.
Congratulations!! What a blessed surprise! You will feel overwhelmed and stressed at times, but you will find your groove and things will work out. Plan on taking a month or so off after the baby is born... it's right around the holidays anyway, what great timing. Take a deep breath and don't worry about the what-ifs... focus on the things you know will happen and plan accordingly. If things aren't as easy as you hope, change plans then. But until then just think of the wonderful new addition you'll have! And I agree with the others. First grade is such a relaxed, fun grade. Take advantage of that and plan for light schooling. And remember that you don't have to do it all at once either. Math in the morning, some reading and writing in the afternoon, a cool science show before dinner. I wish you a happy and healthy 9 months!!
We tried for 14 months to conceive #2, and I felt that way!!! LOL Look at it as good stress! Think, another playmate and lifelong friend for your other 2 kids, and someone else to love you unconditionally (even if you're not a perfect mom like you try to be!) some one else to shower with hugs and kisses. Oh and 1st smiles, first words, first steps....so many GOOD things! And this baby might not be like the other two. I know my two were night and day as babies. #1 was the calmest most laid back baby. #2 was the definition of high needs! With reflux! And I had PPD with #2. It was like two totally unrelated experiences. LOL And think of all your older two can learn with a baby around, and all they can teach him/her. Congrats. Children are a blessing from the Lord. But it's normal to freak out and worry a bit I think, even for a planned pregnancy LOL or at least I did!!
Congrats! I know it can be hard with a third...my third was not only a surprise, but born 12 months after my 2nd! He was super colicky and I had the hardest time. There were some days I thought I would never make it through. The first 4 months were the hardest, but then they got better. Once I found out my ds was colicky because he had allergies (to the strangest things I might add...) I switched his formula and changed a few other things and it was a night and day difference. It was also super hard because I was practically a single parent since my dh was working 70-80 hours a week. Looking back, I realize that it wasn't as bad as I remember. I am soooooo glad that I have my son, and I am glad he is so close to his sister. you will be able to do it. ((hugs))
Thank you everyone. I really don't want to come across wrong. I honestly just have no one to talk to about how I am feeling. I feel to guilty to voice it to my dh and we haven't told anyone else. I feel bad for feeling this way since I do know very well how it feels to see negative test after negative test and to be told we would never have children. Another big issue right now is that I am still breastfeeding my 2 1/2 year old. He is very attached to me. I have tried weaning him several times and felt so bad for him. So after finding out over the weekend that I am pregnant, I began to worry about it. Yesterday I did something I actually always thought was awful. I put lemon juice on and told him my milk was sour. He was very upset when he tried it but seemed to get over it quickly and every time he would ask, I would tell him it was sour and then he didn't want to try. I thought maybe it would work. He still wakes up several times a night to nurse which is a big issue. He actually went to sleep last night without nursing and I was shocked and somewhat sad. The night was awful. He cried loudly for most of the night and at 4:00, after my 6 year old (in ps K now) had been awakened several times, I gave in and nursed him. He was so content and slept well after that. I just don't know what to do. I feel so guilty. I know this is a hs'ing board but I feel I have more in common with you ladies here in regards to raising kids than I do with anyone I actually know. Most think I am crazy for breastfeeding this long, planning to homeschool, along with many other things. Anyway, sorry for another long ramble. I truly appreciate all the comments. I just really needed someplace to get it all out. Thank you for letting me do that here.
My friend who's working on her 6th baby (in the oven still ) was a long term nurser as well. She said everytime she's been pregnant that the child she was nursing would naturally wean b/c about 3 months in (apparently) the consistency, taste, etc of your milk changes. Her 5th child is 2+ now (not sure how far into 2) and she just passed her 3rd month and almost overnight, was weaned. Now....it might just be her kids....but maybe you could reason (ha) with your 2 1/2 year old and let him nurse before nap and bedtime, and then slowly pull away the nap and then MAYBE he'll drop the night ones on his own when you hit about 3 mos? Just a thought.
Keep in mind that at his age, he is NOT nursing because he's hungry. When he wants to nurse, you might offer him a sippy cup of milk instead. I'm not sure I'd use the lemon juice, though! Now that he knows your milk is "no longer sour", he'll think it sometimes is and sometimes isn't. And he'll want to "test" it each time to see. And there ARE several on here who do breastfeed longer; those of us who don't feel it's a personal decision and won't fuss with you about it, so feel free to discuss it!
Krista, thank you for the advice and info about your friend. I would love it if it would work like that for me! Jackie, I know he isn't hungry. It is definitely a comfort thing. I had a cup of milk for him which he drank before he went to sleep but when he woke in the night he wanted no part of having that cup! I know I've messed up the lemon juice thing now but I just felt so sorry for him. I am weak!
Everyone has given you great advice. The only thing I would add about weaning is, if YOU decide he is no longer going to be breastfed, that's it. Tell him no, don't make excuses, and find a different way to comfort him. At 2 1/2, he should be sleeping through the night and you are going to have a whole different issue once the baby gets here if he is still getting up several times a night. At this point, weaning and sleeping would be what I start working on. It will be rough, but you will be better off once the baby gets here.
No, you're not weak! This is the first time you're going through this, and you're not really sure exactly how or why. Shoot, I think I'd have "given in" a lot sooner than 4 AM, lol!!!
When I was weaning my kids (if you are ready to wean him!) was to shorten the time I would allow them to nurse. For example, at the time they would nurse for about 15 minutes. At 14 minutes, I would cut them off. After a few days of that, I would cut them off at 13 minutes. I would slowly work my way down. Eventually, it got where they didn't see the point in nursing anymore. It was a more gentle way of weaning them and worked very well for both of my girls.
I just wanted to say congrats !! Have you tried talking to a LLL leader for tips ? They are usually great for help . Also not sure if www.kellymom.com still has tips on weaning. I know they use to. I'm currently pregnant & have 6 kids. My younger two are 7 months & 1 1/2 . I wonder daily if i'm nuts. I blame it on the hormones. I just keep reminding myself this too shall pass. ((((HUGS))))
Jen, yes that is one of the many reasons why I started worrying as soon as I found out I was pregnant. I need to get him sleeping through the night before the baby comes. Jackie, thank you for saying I'm not weak. I def. feel like I am when it comes to my kids. I only nursed my first for 6 weeks because I thought my milk was making him sick since he cried all the time. I have no experience dealing with weaning an older child. Chris, thank you for your advice. I may try that. So far today he is till talking about mommy's milk being sour. I wonder if he even remembers nursing in the night. Finally, Mommy2thegang, you are my hero! Tell me what your secret is?? You must be superwoman. When are you due? THanks all!
