HELP!!! Celtic "Hand Binding" Ceremony

[Jackie]

My step-son has just informed me that he and his live-in are getting married next week. But not wedding as we know it. It will be a traditional Celtic Hand Binding Ceremony. My impression is that it will be filled with a lot of pagan practices and beliefs. He told me that we would probably not want to bring the kids, but would appreciate it if his dad and I went. I'm not sure I can go. I need some information about what exactly this is.

The good news is that he's finally planning on marrying this gal! (Well, sort of! DH says she's a lot like DSS's mother. I can deal with her as part of the family, but would be much happier if they just broke up!)

[Brooke]

If your gut is saying to stay out of it, that's usually a good sign the Spirit is giving you warning. Sometimes, we aren't supposed to even seek out the "why" :wink: .....kinda like when our kids get a "no" from us and want all the details....sometimes, they are better off not knowing all the gory details :? , KWIM?

[Jackie]

Actually it was sort of taken out of my hands. When he called, his dad wasn't home. They did talk later, and DH told him that we would NOT be there. Problem is, DH is having a hard time accepting this as a "marriage". I've told him that they will be LEGALLY MARRIED in the eyes of the state (with these ceremonies, some people chose not to fill out the legal side of it) and as such she WILL BE his DIL, regardless of what he feels about it. And we need to treat her as such. I've also asked on another board with where there's many people who are NOT Christians. Wouldn't you know it, THEY are the ones that responded, telling me how "lovely" it is in their experiences. I'm sure it is "lovely", but it's still pagan! (I didn't ask for advice there, just wanted to know more about what it was; I had a good idea of what kind of advice I'd get!) I keep telling DH that at least they will be married, but he's not sure he even wants to hear that right now. We knew the older DSS was "into" pagan stuff; didn't realize the younger one was, too. We've been praying for the boys after we go to bed at night, and last night his prayer was "God, help those boys!" That was it, and summed things up very nicely.

[CrystalCA]

If you would like to see a real celtic hand binding wedding than rent the movie Braveheart. There are 2 lovely wedding scenes in it. One that is the full ceremony with song and dance and a feast with the whole village involved and one done in secret because the family was againist who she married. In a real ceremony (celtic) there is a father/pastor that blesses this event in the eyes of God and man.
Please remember though you say it is pagan in your eyes, it is not in the eyes those who are getting married.
You are putting undo stress and sorrow on these children when they are showing a expression of love and honor to each other and to let their family and friends be a part of that. One day they might not be around and you CHOOSE not to attended the happiest day of their lives.
I think you need to put aside your differences for one day and let them be happy and joyful without having to view empty seats on the grooms side.
I guess people would consider my husband and I pagan ( because we do not believe in a higher power) but my husbands family is very Baptist. We planned on not getting married in a church but in a lovely park with family and a few friends. His parents said if we did they would not attended and either would his bothers or sisters. This caused great pain for my husband. It has change the dynamics of everyones relationships. It has never recovered and it has been 10 years since that day. It was a great betrayal to my husband that his family choose religious beliefs over their own child and it has only made our beliefs stronger by showing their willingness to brush him aside instead of showing compassion and love for their child not his beliefs. It was just one day in the day of many to come. I do not believe one day will bring down your house of beliefs. If you think it might then maybe your faith is not that strong to begin with.
Please go to support your DSS and his new bride . Remember you are there to witness their love for one another and NOT for the "pagan" ceremony. There will be NO naked dancers, no orgies or debauchery or gallons of alchol to be consumed. There will be flowers, food and the love of two people uniting as one. Just the same as any other wedding.

[Jackie]

Crystal, thank you for your input. When I say "pagan", I mean that they DO acknowledge a "mother goddess". I think DH could accept them getting married outside the church, even before the Justice of the Peace. He wouldn't like it, but he could accept that. With this, they are openly embracing something that we feel very strongly against.
We feel that to take part in this ceremony would be endorsing their belief. I strongly desire to treat her as if she were the "DIL of my dreams", so to speak. I will strive to let her know that our door will be open to them as much as possible.

[Brooke]

The locale seems irrelevent to me. It's the ritual and acknowledging of any diety other than the one and only true God that's the issue I think. We are reminded in scripture that if we give godspeed to any venture involving sin we will be accountable as if we did it ourselves.

I'm sure you already know this, Jackie, but you and dh's unwavering conviction in this matter may one day be THE thing that speaks the loudest to dss if he chooses to follow the Lord as well. It's hard not being privy to the future, but we can know that God makes all things work to good for those who love Him. Hope you can get some encouragement here......and I'm sorry that you are being tested in this way....the Lord must know that you are capable of making it through! :)

And just a side note.....I had a very private wedding w/immediate family in a park 10 years ago....very simple, very cheap, and in jeans no less :wink: . The difference is we made a covenant with God that day, not just signed a piece of paper, although we understood the necessity of that as well.

[CrystalCA]

Jackie, Thank you for viewing my response objectively. I can understand your position on this issue, I just wanted you to see their side.

Brooke, the relevance of the local of the wedding is that for HIS family EVERY couple ( and I mean every couple it has been well documented) has been married in a church. The marriage not only needed to be officiated by a man of the cloth but also in the house of the Lord.
Also from the point of view of the couple getting married, they will see his father and step-mother not as a pillar of conviction for their beliefs but as uncompassionate people because they can not for ONE day show them that their religion is open and loving to others. It will build an even bigger wall that has already been bulit and it will not lead them to your Lord. It will only make their foundation stronger for what they believe in because in their minds they are saying to each other:
" See, why should we follow their God? His followers are closed minded. To think they could'nt even make OUR wedding because of their righteous ways. Who wants to be like them. I will never be so close minded as to let it hurt the ones I love the most. We will never follow their Lord."
I have been there and it has done that. If my husbands family could have just given an inch on this ,things would probably be so much different with all of us. I believe if you do show them love, compassion that they will see your religion as a path they might take one day. I do not think that if you do go to the wedding that they will view it as you guys accepting their beliefs but as you loving them so much that you are happy they are uniting together and you would'nt miss that for the world. I know that is how I would have viewed it if my in laws just extended their hands out to us.

[Jackie]

You know, there are many non-Christian people that chose to marry inside a church, simply because it's the "right place" to be married. But that does NOT mean that it's a "Christian" marriage. I doubt they are even really acknowledging God simply by being in a church. How many people are more interested in appearance of the building itself? My SIL sure was!!! She was married in a church they had never attended simply because it was a "pretty" building! On the other hand, you can have a God-honoring ceremony out side of a church building. So the place, to me, isn't the issue. It's more of what the ceremony itself signifies.

[Brooke]

I know what I said wouldn't make sense to someone who is not a Christian, but I believe Christians understand exactly what I meant by my comment, not that they all will agree :wink: . When I reach out to others, I am not going to make my beliefs wishy washy to entice them to accept Jesus. Jesus will do the wooing. When a non-believer becomes a believer on Jesus Christ I still maintain they would respect a conviction held by a person who was not in attendance at their wedding.

Another thing to think about is how much pain Jackie and her husband must be feeling right now. Her dss is not the only party to be considered. It hurts when we can't participate in things because of convictions. Jesus said himself that he didn't come to bring peace, but a sword to divide a mother against a daughter and a father against a son......taking up a cross to follow our Lord isn't easy and I feel very much for Jackie's whole family right now.

[abcTammy]

Jackie,
I know your heart must be very heavy now. Continue to love your boys. Your love and faith is a blessing upon all your children. That said, we christians cannot participate in things we believe in our hearts are wrong. No matter how much easier it might be. I'm praying for you.
To one who has faith, no explanation is necessary. To one without faith, no explanation is possible. ~St. Thomas Aquinas

[becky]

Jackie, can't you and your husband( Carl, right?) have a reception for them, a simple one? Maybe that would at least keep things pleasant with your DIL, and your DSS, really.

My first MIL was a roach with a lot of issues, but I was young and stupid and should have handled everything differently. I hope your DIL tries hard to get along with her new family.

[Jackie]

Becky, I think that's an excellent suggestion!!! I know most (all?) of the famly won't be attending the ceremony, but I still feel strongly that she IS part of the family and needs to be accepted in as his choice. I will ask Carl how he would feel about that.

Crystal, what do you think of that? Do you think it could have helped bridge things when you were first married, or not?

[becky]

I'd even go as far as making it a potluck where maybe you guys provie meat and drinks and everyone else brings a side or dessert. Let Carl have his chips that day, too!!

[Lornaabc]

I do think the reception would be a nice thing. You have to try to love the person while not loving the sin.
Crystal, I am interested in what you do believe. I don't want to debate this but just wondered what you think happens after death.
Jackie you have the right idea. You have a live with the DIL and make it work for your family.
Blessing to all.

[CrystalCA]

Jackie, I think is a wonderful idea to hold the reception. It will truly show them how much you do care for THEM and still be able to stand by your beliefs.
I think it would have helped us alot if my in laws did something like that for us.

As far as what I believe, I think and feel, once you have died thats it. No helping others or being watched over by those who have passed.
I was raised Catholic until I was 12, then my step-father and mother decided to be re-baptized as Born-Again Christians ( my mothers family is Mormon.). I went to private schools until 9th grade and in college I noticed that I was never really a believer in any of the religions that surrounded and infused me my whole life ( to that point). I researched other religions to see if something would guide me somewhere but it has'nt so I believe in nothing as far as a higher power goes.
Eastern religions and nature based religions interest me ( like Wiccan) but nothing as far as I would called organized religion interest me at all. Thats not to say that when my children get older that I would discourage them from religion of any sort ,quite the opposite I would ,help them , guide them to something that brings them peace, be it Christian, Hindu ,Buddist or Wiccian.

[Jackie]

We usually stop by my MIL's house on Sunday, and I did bring up the idea of a family reception for them. My MIL, who REALLY doesn't like this girl, was open to that idea (or at least not against it!) My FIL made it clear that HE would not come. That's fine with me...I can only do what *I* think is right, and not worry about what they others chose to do (or not to do, in this case!). DH, though not excited about it, was willing to listen. He is slowly coming around to the idea that we're "stuck" (his word, not mine!) with this girl whether we want to be or not, so we would be best off to make the best of it. (I'm more of the "Let's make her feel welcome and do the best we can to include her, so we can have long-term peace for the family" philosophy myself!) I suggested DH run it by my DSS and see what he thought about it; he says not until AFTER the ceremony, since he's hoping that it may not go through. So fine, I'll wait. But I do think it was an excellent suggestion! That's why I brought it up here. I knew I could trust y'all to come up with SOMETHING!

[becky]

What is this girl really like?

[Jackie]

(Sigh.....) DH says (from the very first!) that she reminds him of his ex-wife. He says she has a lot of bitterness and anger in her. When she is with us, she DOES TRY to be friendly and social, unlike some other young ladies the boys have brought home. She interacts well with my younger ones, and isn't against helping clear the table. DH also sees that she has lots of physical problems that he feels are mental/spiritual in nature (also like his ex-wife), that holds her back as far as getting a job goes. I believe that she will try to be a good wife, and I will have to learn how to be encouraging without interfering. Oh, and she "makes" my DSS clean up after himself when they're here! I don't "dislike" her, but I don't feel she's "right" for him. Of course, I've never told him that; it wouldn't be well received and would only cause trouble.

[Anonymous]

I think prayer is the only answer. God knows the future.

[HeidiPA]

Jackie~
I think that your attitude in this whole situation is great! I just wanted to jump in and commend you. I can tell that, although you don't agree with the situation, that you are trying to be accepting of this girl for the sake of your step-son.
As for the wedding situation, I think you are right in not going. I have an aunt who has made it their family policy to not attend weddings in which the couple has lived together before marriage. I know there are people in our family who have thought this was wrong or weird. However, now that I'm an adult with kids of my own, I can see her reasoning. As much as we love our family members, why should we stand in support of their sin? ("Love the sinner, hate the sin", "Be in the world, but not of the world" mentality)
I agree with some of what Crystal has pointed out, and Becky's idea for a reception is great- you'd be showing them support, while having it on your terms and by your own beliefs- not supporting theirs.

Crystal~ I apologize for my fellow Christians who have put a bad taste in your mouth concerning God and Christianity. Sometimes people go overboard with their beliefs and people (like yourself) feel shut out or turned off. Thanks for the reminder that we need to be more open and real. I do believe that we need to stand up for what we believe is right; however, not in such a "hard" way that it makes people look at us and say "I don't want to be like that".

[Brooke]

"Love the person, not the sin" woulda been a good thing for me to put in my post. As I reread, nothing loving seemed to emit from it, and for that I appologize.

Heidi, out of curiosity, why wouldn't your aunt rejoice at a marriage between people who were previously living in sin? That is the kind of thing that falls under "tis better to marry than to burn" :wink: , right? People (including myself :wink: ) can be fickle....

Jackie, a reception sounds great! Good job, Becky, in suggesting that. Sometimes we can get so wrapped up in making sure we are not participating in sin that we forget we need to reach out in love at the same time. Oh, to be more like the Master! :D

[abcTammy]

Jackie,
What a dear mother-in-law you are already trying to be. I think she and your son will appreciate your effort to welcome her into your family.
Blessings~
Tammy

[KrisRV]

Well ladies I have been reading the post and biting my tongue during this but I think it's a sin not to go to wedding too. They are trying. Heidi, siad you were right not to go to the wedding of someone who lived together because it's a sin. Well If that is so there would be no weddings now days. There are very few people who don't live together first.
I mean even staying for a few days and going back home to the parents is still loving together. I would go to the wedding and make your Son and new wife feel welcome.
First you should never judge someone or compare someone to someone else, everyone is different.
Another good thing to always remember the more you are againist something, the more they will push to go through with it. So, if you show no reaction it might work out.
Like they say if you tell you son or daughter not to date someone they will do it because you don't want them too.
I feel you should give them a chance, everyone deserve a chance.
Crystal, did speak very clear for us all.
Everyone of us in here have done some kind of sin in our life, some wouldn't admit it.
But, we all have been forgive and given a chance in life.
WHY not the SON and his WIFE.
Just remember you don't have to live with her he does.
It's is LIFE and hers and they must be Happy.
Let them know you are always going to be there. :lol:

[HeidiPA]

If you are trying to teach your children to live by biblical principles, then how do you explain going to a wedding of a couple who has been living together for years? Or going to a baby shower for someone that isn't married? I don't know. "Well, they are doing this, but this is what you're supposed to do". Does that work?
Jackie~ what are you telling the girls regarding this situation with their step-brother?

Kris~ your saying that there would be very few weddings nowadays if people who lived together didn't have weddings.......what's your point? That it's ok? Just because everyone else is doing it, that makes it alright? Is that the mentality? Because I'd rather say to my girls "just because everyone is else doing it, it's still wrong in God's eyes and it doesn't make it ok for you to do it". And whatever sins I've committed and still commit today, I hope that I can use them as examples to teach my girls, not as reasons why it's ok for them to do the same (wrong) things.

Anyway, the issue here is not living together before marriage; I just brought that up as an example of not attending a relatives wedding because of personal beliefs. The issue is Jackie's situation, and I feel that she is handling things wonderfully!

[becky]

Man, Kris so rarely speaks out I had to double check who the poster was!!
Kick it one time, girl!!

She's right, though, that hardly anyone gets married before living together. Dean and I lived together 7 months before we got married. During that time I was a Children's church teacher!! They knew our intention was to get married-although I had to insist on it after awhile- and they knew Dean moved in with me to help financially.

We have to be careful how we deal with people who don't live the way we think they should. I gave some of Jeannie's old things to a teenage mom down the street last year. The dad was nowhere to be seen. Should I have said to myself 'Oh, she had sex before she got married'? No, because perhaps no one showed her Truth. Her mother had a live-in, so that's all she knew.

We need to listen to CrystalCA.

Jackie, the talk is turning to how much you and you husband don't like this girl, and not so much about the ceremony. It boils down to the fact that this is your son's life. Remember that someday there might be grandkids- if your DSS or his wife pick up on these feelings about her you just might end up on the outside looking in.

It might be hard to picture now, but those children will wonder why their grandparents-the Christians- don't like their Mommy.

[Brooke]

I should learn to keep my trap shut, but here I go again.....

Heidi, I guess it is just a different way of looking at the situations. We told our kids that they could not stay overnight at their aunt's house because she and her boyfriend were living together....but when they decided to marry (and much to do with repentance) we rejoiced, as did my kids, because repentance had brought them to marriage. Now, I will say that I have had problems going to bridal showers after someone has lived together and established a home for years.....but it has more to do with the fact that the bride-to-be should not expect people to provide her with new towels and dishes when she already has a home established. Not that my attitude is right, either...just how it makes me feel.

Jackie, I know you are seeking the Lord's direction and will follow His leading. There is a fine line between showing love and encouragement and crossing over to acceptance of the spirituality behind a ritual. I'm sure you will make the right choices...the Lord is faithful to show you the way when you seek it. :D

[Jackie]

I'm sorry, Becky, I didn't realize the conversation had turned to how much we "dislike" this girl. I don't "dislike" her. I don't think she's "right" for DSS, but that's more because BOTH are very immature and not ready to be married. I have expressed that she seems pleasant and friendly when she's with the family, and interacts well with the younger children. And yes, I have expressed some of DH"s conerns.

I strongly disagree with "most" people living together before marriage. I've not seen any statistics supporting that, one way or the other. And besides, "most" people in the South supported slavery. Did that make it right? I base right and wrong on what is Scriptural, not on what "most" people feel is right or wrong. Personally, I would not have a problem attending a wedding where the couple had been living together beforehand. While I do believe that doing so is sin (sorry, Becky, no offense intended!), I would be thrilled that the couple are finally tying the knot and doing the proper thing. At that point, I would feel it better to support their decision to get married. But I also believe forgiveness cannot be truely extended unless there is repentence. How can God forgive a sin which a person choses to continue in, even though they know it's wrong?

The children know that their brother is (probably) getting married on Wednesday. They also know that we won't be going. (We were specifically told that we probably woudln't want to bring the kids, even before he knew we wouldn't be coming.) We have NOT told them anything about the ceremony not being "God-honoring" or "pagan" or anything of the sort. I think they (especially Rachael) are thrilled with the idea that they may be aunts before too long (and no, she is NOT pregnant that we know of, nor do we have reason to believe that's the case! It's just little girls anticipating!) They know that we do not approve of their lifestyle. We have talked before that God sets up rules, but we can always chose to obey or disobey God's rules, just like you can chose to obey or disobey parents' rules. Obedience comes with blessings, disobedience with discipline and confusion.

Brooke, I didn't notice anything harsh in your response. I guess because I'm use to you, and feel I know your heart in such matters. I know you didn't mean to sound condemning, so it didn't come across that way to me.

[HeidiPA]

Brooke~
If you thought I'd think you were condemning me and you'd make me mad- you didn't! Actually, I totally agree with what you said! LOL
I, like Jackie, feel like I have read enough of your posts that I know (somewhat) where your heart is. And, I think we're in about the same place!

[Brooke]

You know ladies.....I don't want to steer this conversation in another direction, but I do need to put out a disclaimer.....I think I'm going through another depression so what I see in my posts seems negative to me. Bare with me...I need to set up an appt. but haven't because we just moved and I don't know any doctors here yet. Guess there's no time like the present, huh?!

[labellady]

I don't have any advice on the subject, other than what has already been said. I will be praying for you and your family.

[Jackie]

Well, DH just talked with my DSS. Yes, they ARE married now. My new DIL (gosh, that's going to take some getting use to!!!) and I discussed the idea of a reception, and she seemed to like the idea. She asked, "What will we have to do?" and I told her "Just show up...." I explained that I felt it would be a way to welcome her into the family. Becky, thank you SO MUCH for coming up with that idea!!! I would never have thought of it on my own!!!

[becky]

I was thinking of how wrong I did my first mother in law when I suggested that.
I wish I had done more to handle that whole thing differently. Plus it's true there will be grandkids sometime. I'd work hard to stay on her good side!!

[Jackie]

I think we all wish we could do things differently in that area. I know my relationship with my MIL hasn't been the best, and, while a good part is on HER side, not all of it. We went through some tough times at first, but get a long fairly well now, thankfully! Partly because NEITHER of us hold grudges.

[Lornaabc]

Being that I am from the South I truly don't believe in people living together. I have been to their wedding to celebrate the marriage of the two folks. Just as I have been friends with a few men and ladies couples who is gay. Even people who drink. My husband and I don't and do not want to have our kids around it. On vacation we just made a big decision not to take a wonderful boating trip due to that. There was a pirate cruse and the kids did loads of fun things but they served wine and other drinks. I nicely ask about a non drinking time and I was told No that was in the price of the package. So I nicely told the lady we couldn't attend. That is our choice and it will be respected by the kids in the future no matter if they choose to drink or not. They will remember us for standing our ground and never drinking. As for Becky teaching a class at church while living with someone. Probably wouldn't take place in my county. I know not in my church or any of my close friends churches. Most pastors here wouldn't take kindly to that. I am glad Becky and her husband got married and I am sure it is a wonderful marriage. I know she is doing a great job with her kids. I have seen that here and she also has some real strong ideas on how her daughter will be treated and what she sees and does. As she should and I think God will honor all of that one day. I know I have some ideas that many of you think are crazy but I stand on them and that is the way I am. Just Ask Trisha from SC. LOL One of my bestest of friends.

[becky]

Yo, Lorna- I had to push for that wedding, too. My spouse was very comfortable with things the way they were, but I knew all that was wrong.
I think men are like that for the most part.

LOL. I have to say, though, we were living like siblings. He comes from a cushy background, and once he got a whiff of household bills, rent, etc., romance was out the door completely!! It was a shocker for him, and funny for me to watch!!

[Jackie]

Well, I was finally able to pin down my DIL about a time for the reception. With everything going on right now, next Saturday was the only time available, and she was suppose to get back with me. They had plans on going camping sometime this month, and she wasn't sure when. We tried to reach them, but they weren't returning our calls. So Sunday I got hold of her, and she said to just go ahead and plan it then (it was getting late, and I needed to get invitations out!!!)

I talked to my MIL yesterday, asking her for a list of family to invite. Sigh...... She gave me a VERY SHORT list, and even then qualified half of them by saying, "They won't come...." One supposed "no show" is an aunt who lives about three hours away. She LOOKS for reasons to come up, but has found it more difficult since her DH passed away. I told MIL that, if I were her, I'd be offended if I didn't get an invitation. I understand the distance, and am fine with her not showing up, but feel that should be HER decision. My FIL has made it clear that he won't go. He feels that it would be giving approval to it. I told my MIL that they must do what their conscience tells them. But I also told her that they ARE legally married and that I felt Carl and I need to keep doors open as much as possible without compromising our beliefs. And that meant supporting and encouraging their marriage to last, with the hope that one day they will BOTH return to their Christian roots. I doubt my preacher BIL will come with his family, not if his mother is against it, though his wife probably would say we were doing the right thing. I'm just afraid no one will show up (my MIL is one of those controlling people!), and my DIL will kind of hold it against me. Well, I may warn her not to expect too much (or better yet, have DH worn his son!) So the next week and a half, we'll be spending more time cleaning house and less time with school. At least I'll have a clean house out of the bargain, right?

[becky]

Send your invitations and if no one comes you'll know who to delete from your christmas list.

Remind them this is a reception, not a religious thing of any sort. It's a time to eat!

It's a shame, because it doesn't seem like these kids are shoving anything down anyone's throat.

Remind them, too, how Jesus treated those we would look down on.

[KrisRV]

Jacike, I have to agree with Becky these kids aren't asking for anything.
You do the best you can, just sent the invites and who comes, comes.
I think the kids will be happy that you did this for them.
I know it's a hard thing to do, but there's alot of going on around the world.
We don't have to like what they do, but we can be there to support them.
They are our children. No matter what descison they make in life we need to be there for them. Even if we don't like it. They are our children. I am sure we all did something in our life our parents didn't like but they are still there for us, even if it's not close they are there and would help if we need it.
You are doing a wonderful job for them and I think they will be very happy.
Have a wonderful time and when you are done cleaning you can come and do mine too. :lol:

[becky]

Jackie, I wouldn't say a thing to your DIL about who might not come. Why put a burden on her when it is THEIR hangup?
Your inlaws sound like a pair of winners, much like my first mother in law. It gags me to hear you say your BIL won't be there if his mother won't. Ugh. It takes me back.
They should take a minute to stop and consider how the DIL behaves toward them.
I wouldn't listen to MIL about who wouldn't come, either, because you might be surprised at who might want to be there!

[Jackie]

Thanks. We're going ahead with who we have, and if we're the only ones, so be it. I hope she just realizes that we are trying to make her feel accepted by our family. And I told DH last night that I hope I'm not like his mother in some ways!!! (And he knows EXACTLY what I mean and agrees!!!) There are other ways where my MIL is great. For example, my mom is battling cancer. We had called and spoke to my FIL about what was going on for Mother's Day and was told NOTHING! Well, by the time that changed (my MIL also will wait until the last minute sometimes!) I had already arranged for us to go out and spend the day at my parents' and go out to eat with them. So I was trying to see if we could make it at both places. My MIL told me straight out that with my mom's health, I should give her the first priority. "I'm healthy and plan on being around for a long while, and you're not sure how much time you and the kids will get with your mom." That's an attitude I really appreciate. And she's wonderful about taking the kids in a pinch!

[Jackie]

Well, it's OVER!!! They just left. My MIL came by herself, leaving FIL at home. DH's brother-the-pastor made it, though he didn't bring his family with him. His wife's grandparents had come in from out of town, and she and the kids were with them. DH's sister made it for a while (again without spouse and kids, but her spouse goes out of his way to get out of EVERYTHING!) DH's other brother had to work. We invited three aunts...two were out of town, and one wasn't feeling good. And believe me, these were NOT excuses on their part!

So it was small, but friendly. My other stepson had just got out of jail this morning (driving conviction, and then he didn't bother showing up at court, and it finally caught up with him!), so DH picked him up at the jail and brought him up. His girlfriend came by then and stayed, and they were the ones that just pulled out with the newlyweds. Her name has been legally changed now. My DSS told me he wanted a copy of the invitation. I gave it to them, and she was so thrilled to see her it listed her "new" name. So I think over all it went well, and hopefully fostered well-being all around. Thank you so much for the suggestion! I really appreciate you guys!

If anyone wants to come for a visit, NOW is the time to do it! MY HOUSE IS VERY CLEAN!!!! :lol:

[Brooke]

So glad to hear that it went well and that you are building good relations with your D-I-L. I think it says alot about her, and their marriage, that she is excited to see her married name on something "official". Her heart sounds tender. :)

And congrats on the clean house! :wink: