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View Full Version : As promised: You and your child's learning styles!!!!


TinaTx
05-25-2004, 11:16 PM
Hi girls....

Ok..how will I condense 14 handwritten pages into one post?:eek:

To start off, I guess this will be a long post. So your warned!LOL ;) :p I will try to divide each learner so that if you are interested in that one only, you can cut/paste more easily. Also, I will use uppercase letters for *separating* purposes only and not for screaming or emphasis.:p In addition, if I didn't mention a book or other idea, its because its not in my handwritten notes since I will give you basically all the information I have.:rolleyes: ;)

Legend:

CC = Competent Carl/Carla
WW= Wiggly Willy/Wilma
PP= Perfect Paula/Paul
SS=Social Sue/Sam
Cynthia Tobias-is the author of most of this, and infamous on her teaching of learning styles.= CT
Cathy Duffy is where our *people*terms come from and they are much easy to understand.
Workshop leader= WL (this is the homeschool leader conducting this workshop).
Learning Style= LS

So now this should save me some typing! Also, ahead of time,sorry for any typos..I will try my best!:rolleyes: :p :D

INTRODUCTION
There are 4 basic different learning styles. By understanding these this will help you to appreciate your child as a person. If you understand how they learn you will become much more tolerant of them as people.:rolleyes: . Usually, by age 8 yo you can identify what type of learner they will be. Some moms can tell as early as 6. If you can't tell what kind of learner, then they may be too young. The WL had one kid she could not identify until 10 you because she was such a mixture. Also most kids will be 2, but not usually 3. One will be dominant,with a streak of another LS. Also, learning styles are NOT an intelligence indicator. There are some that are more bookish and some that are more outdoors. These are more personality types and not the *learning modality* of auditory,kinesthetic and visual. We are talking more about personality types which do affect their learning style.


WIGGLY WILLY/WILMA: characteristics are, quick,intuitive, curious, instinctive, realstic, adventurerous,creative,innovative. They don't like structure. They feel bound by structure and routine. Chances are they don't do good in school, not because they are not smart, but because they can't sit still. When they are giving a lot of rules and regulations, they chaff. When they do something like sit still, they end up pulling the girl's hair in front of them, end up out of their seats and don't do well. Hs works the best for these kinds of kids. They are constantly moving while you are teaching them and it appears they are not paying attention. Situations that attract this style involves action and excitement. They likely grow up to be athletes, artist, actors, entertainers. They like jobs in construction, truck driving. They like jobs where they can have a challenge. They are very good at looking at a situation, sizing it up, fixing the problem and then going on to something else. They are very successful at jobs that demand action, freedom to respond to the moment and they like to take risks. Often seen as the *entrepenurial*type. As they grow up they get to where they can sit still for longer periods of time. They have very short attention spans, moving a lot when young---they are very challenging children to teach. However, they have something very special about them. They are brave people, not afraid to step out and do something different. CT calls them *Let's just get this over with---How much is really necessary?*kids.Thats how they feel about school. They are never going to be the kind of kids that say *Can we do school now?*LOL. This child is *can I get this done so I can go play or do my hobby?* If you are WW teacher then you are going to have trouble organizing and following through. The WW teacher is so anxious to have fun with her kids, do projects, but organization part of it gives her trouble. She'd rather play and have fun. She likes to use art and music projects to teach with. She tends to be impulsive, thats not necessariy negative. She's a teacher that can seize a teachable moment and go with it. She's flexible, she doesn't mind doing things that are unplanned or scheduled (if she has one). She doesn't like paperwok and record keeping. She likes to motivate her kids through her own enthusiasm and usually prefers activities to reading books. Example: Instead of reading about the solar system or using a textbook, she has them BE the solar system. Mom is the sun, andthe kids are the planets. We have PP sitting in on this with mom saying *GEEEZeee..... can't I just read this in a book!!!* This mom makes an excellent teacher and enjoys creative ways of presenting the material. Favorite subjects of this mom and children of this LS are sports, arts, contest and field trips. As you notice, not a lot of academics there.To teach this kind of kids, mom needs to come to the table EXTREMELY prepared. If you say *oh wait...let me answer phone...or let me see the lesson manuals says, blah, blah* FORGET it WW is long gone! He's outta there. He has a short attention span. Its not really an option for WW to sit still. If you want him or her to learn you are going to have to let them move. The WL did an experiment. She told everyone to hold their breath as she talked. Now keep holding it. Are YOU doing it? Don't let go yet?..Okkk..now breathe! Thats how WW feels. He says * i think I can sit still?* The whole time his brain is saying no.....MOVE....But he wants to sit still because he wants to please you. Its more intense when he has to sit still.So our biggest hurdle to overcome is their constant moving. Especially if your PPaula, you want that child to really appreciate that you are pouring heart and soul into this, and he just won't sit still. Don't let it fool you..he's learning. There is a book written by Carol Barnier (Barn yee ay) called *How to get your child off the refrigerator and onto learning?*. She has great suggestion for letting them doing something. One is playing with silly putty or play doh while you read or teach. Its quiet. Another is sweeping. All of us need our houses cleaned.LOL. Sweeping is quiet. Drawing is quiet.The WL has a child that is a WW. The sat at the table, they move his chair, and he stands at the table. So he can scratch, itch, kick and yawn. She has learned to hold the book close to her face because her child is so distracting to her as he is rolling in the floor. However, he can tell you EXACTLY what she just read.They are risk takers and need options. The bottom line is just that *figure out your bottom line*. For example, you want them to do history and science, instead of telling them we are going to do 1,2,3,4. Ask them what is your choice history or science first? Also figure out what is optional. Ok.you want them to do math, but is WHERE they do math optional? Yes could be. In the living room, kitchen or bedroom. They will take risks. For example, if you do this, you will receive X for punishment. WW will think about, say to themselves *you know its worth suffering the consequences* and then do something deliberate. When they do, be sure to follow through on the discipline and consequences. You chose to do so and so, so because of that NO TV or playstation. Also, WL gives her WW a chore to do in break. Like she tells him to emptry trash cans for 5 minutes, then he has 5 minutes to do what he wants. You don't want WW doing something like watching TV or playstation. you want him to MOVE some even while he is breaking. WW want a challenge, an argument is a challenge. They will want to take on mom. So instead of a challenge, turn it into choices. Then suffer the bad consequences if they *assessed the risks and decided to suffer the bad consequences.* They will do this and challenge you since they are risk takers. Just have real clear cut guidelines.





PERFECT PAULA/PAUL characteristics are hardworking, conventional, accurate, stable, dependable, consistent, factual and organized.These kids enjoy routine and predictable situations. They follow rules and expect others to do so too. Sometimes they are called the little policeman because if someones not doing what they are suppose to be doing, you can bet they'll be sure to let them know. They have a strong sense of duty and service and authority.They like to follow rules. What they really like to know is what is going to happen in advance. These children also are the ones that ask you before you go to bed *Mommy,what are we going to do tomorrow?*.They love to know how things are going to go and how the rhythm of the day will be. They do best in a well ordered, quiet and highly structured enviroment.They are very meticulous about their work. These children are the ones who loooove to fill in the blanks.They love to write their names neatly across the top of the page.It gives them great satisfaction to complete an assignment and have it neatly done. CT calls these kids *You've got have a plan, just say what you mean, and do it by the book!* kids.If your a different learner as mom and you have a PP, know this child is anxious to please you, but does not do well in a situation where there is a lot of chaos.They are not really perfect acting kids, they have their fair share of problems,but just in general they are easy to teach because they enjoy structure. PP as a teacher you like to plan ahead of time,these are your lesson plan people,love lists, love to check it off as they completed everything.It gives them great satisfaction.They like schedule, and you don't mess with PP schedule. Example the WL gave is that dh phones PP and tells her he is bring the boss home for supper at 5:00. BIG BOO BOO! YOu don't do that PP. You don't mess with her schedule. She needs time to prepare, plan and set things up. She is good at it and organized. This is the lady to get if you have a potluck dinner for an activity and need someone to head it up.She likes to get things done and she will always be on time.One thing she struggles with is creativity or asked to do something she hasn't done before, like pulling something out of thin air, thats very uncomfortable for PP. She needs to have it written down in the book. She can do it if its says *Now first do this, next do this,and list the materials she will neeed* PP is very concerned about meeting requirements, and if you find yourself saying *I have to know exactly what I'm covering for this grade*then you're probably a PP. You want to know that your doing everything the correct way.They like using an umbrella program sometimes because it give them that security.They also like preplanned curriculum.They don't like curriculum that gives them lots of options or a lot of creative things to do that seem open ended.She's much more comfortable with a program that says on "Monday,1,2,3,4 on Tuesday 1,2,3,4*That way she knows what she suppose to be doing.If you're a PP you will be looking for teachers manual because you like them. You favorite subjects are: math, spelling,geography(tend to have a real love for maps,notebooks,collections), big collectors, timeline and history. They like timelines and history because they are logical and chronological. They like the order of things.






Ok..I guess I thought I could type all 4 types this evening, but my time has run out. I will post the other two types when I get another slot of time. I didn't want to skimp on anything,plus I wanted to give the tips on how to teach that learning style.:D Hopefully, these two LS will help some of you :D and I promise as soon as I can, I will post information about the other two learning styles.

Blessings
TinaTx

(Who tested so high on the assessment for Perfect Paula I was embarrassed:o,hee hee :D but had a streak of Social Sue running through me...however, Perfect Paula was dominant)

She
05-26-2004, 03:59 PM
Whew Girl!!!!

You are the bomb!!! :D

Thank you!!!! :) :) :) :) :) :) :)

TinaTx
05-26-2004, 05:20 PM
Competent Carl/Carla- characteristics are objective, knowledgeable, thorough, structured, logical, deliberate and systematic. This person is a very scientific thinker. Sometimes as children they are called the little scientist. They are curious and analytical,systematic. This is the child you might find reading an encyclopedia just because they love knowledge and they find it fascinating. They also tend to get fixated on certain subjects. This a child who might get interested in Dinosaurs and will read every single book he can get his hands on. He'll want to watch everything onTv about it and soon he will amass a great knowledge about it. They come off as bookish kinds of kids because they love trivia and facts, and just enjoying delving. They stay there until their curiosity is satisfied then move on to the next thing they are fascinated by. Very thorough students, very careful and meticulous students. They take a long time to do their work and it can be very frusterating to work with them because they are sorta of slow because they have to be so thorough. CT calls these kids *If there is not time to do it right, I won't do it all*kids. The mom thats a CC likes to be in control. She's a very logical thinker and she has to know the reasoning behind the ideas. She's a good organizer. But what is interesting is that there are two kinds of Competent Carls and Competent Carlas : introvert and extravert. One is very organized and has her house set up on some file system. The other one has piles of *stacked files* everywhere. She has stacks everywhere kind of cluttered but she knows where everything is. She likes to work alone or independently. This mom loves the computer, she loves to research. If your a CC then, before you started hsing you got on the internet and read every book about it.You talked to people, your a deep research type person. One of the things this mom struggles with is that she grasps concepts easily and when she is teaching her children and they do not grasp, she will sometimes lose patience. To her it seems clear and logical,and she presents things in a logical way. If a child learns differently than she does or is slower, she is really impatient.She has trouble understanding other people's feelings and is sometimes uncomfortable in social situations, and will even avoid them if possible. She does like making long term plans and can be very tenacious about getting these plans done. WL dh is a CC. She said her dh can sit at the computer for hours and hours. He does not need to eat, sleep or bathe. He only needs to get done what he set out to do. This type of mom tends to be demanding of her children in their learning. They tend to be intellectuals. Lot of them will end up getting higher degrees of learning. They love school, they might be the *forever student because they love school and love learning. CC gift to her kids is that she knows a lot of things. She keeps a lot of facts stored in her head. She is good at introducing the children to all sorts of subjects. She loves it and is passionate about it. Her favorite subjects are science,math, research of compex subjects and long independent projects. These are sort of your math and science people. They actually go into careers that involve that..Then the WL shows a picture of a CC mom who loves musuems, but doesn't know when to stop. All the kids are tired, but CC tends to go overboard.She stays longer than the kids can stand. On the way out the museum she is still asking them a question like *Who remembers how to tell when a squash is ready for harvest?* The kid have a look on their face like *who cares by now*




Social Sue/Sam - characteristics are sensitive, compassionate, perceptive, imaginative, sentimental, spontaneous and flexible. These are the kids that are most like to ask *Is this truly meaningful? Why do I need to know this ?* They see the world as a whole, and want to know how they interplay with it.These are like your creative artistic people, not details. If they can't find a reason then its a detail they don't need to know. They are global thinkers, they see the big picture, but tend to miss the details, or at least they are not interested in them. They can learn as they get older to learn details, but its just not their favorite thing to do. Generally, these people are very idealistic. They have a tendency to be perfectionist. They are not perfectionist in the same sense of Perfect Paula who wants to do everything right, but they are perfectionist in the sense of being idealistic. They want everything to be as it should. Generally they do well in school, they are high achievers. The flip side is that they tend to set unrealistic standards for themselves. WL shows a picture of a SS who likes to act out things. She likes drama and communication. SS will enjoy letting their children act out the things they are learning because thats one way they can express it. Other things to know about SS is that she is hyper sensitive to criticism and rejection.Conflict is very difficult to for them to handle. This is the hser that will worry about what her mother in law thinks. But they tend to be very good judges of character, good at reading people. They are fascinated with other people's beliefs, attitudes, what they think, howe they feel. They tend to be very good friends. They are good listeners. They are sensitive to other people and people like them. SS tends to have a lot of friends . Also there are SS that are extraverts, and SS who are introverts. If your a introvert your not going to enjoy being in a group, your not going to be the party animal type. You are the one on one type. That is the key to your relationship with friends. Relationships are very important to you and is a motivation to you. Generally they are warm and expressive people who have naturally good social skills and tend to be excellent communicators. Favorite subjects are creative writing, literature, humanity, peforming arts,public speaking and foreign languages. SS as a teacher, WL shows a picture of SS leaving a co-op,and she doesn't have her keys,eyeglasses or purse. She has Perfect Paula daughter who is running behind her saying *here mom I found these*. It is almost like a role reversal in a way, if you have daughter that is PP and you are SS. So SS can be somewhat disorganized as a teacher. What they really like are social situations. Even when they are introverts, people are so important to them they will want to get with a small group for socializing. They tend to be a little insecure about their homeschooling and like co-ops. SS tends to doubt herself easily and she needs that cirlce of friends that reminds her *Yes your doing a great job!*.She also worries about what other people think. As children they tend to be a little peer dependent, it carries over into adulthoood. So you need to realize that can be a roadblock to your homeschooling if you feel like you need the approval of all of your family.


Ok......ladies PHEW:eek: :rolleyes: that its for the assessment. Which one do you and your child fall under?

On the way back from the convention when I listened to this, it made so much sense. It really does make you much more tolerant of your chidren and YOURSELF.lol when you understand them.She also talks some at the end about realizing your child's learning style, but helping them to learn outside of their comfort zone. She emphasized to teach your learning or personality style so that you will be a good teacher, but also you will be more successful if you include your child's learning style too.

That was the firt part of the cd. The second part is on *how to teach each style*. The only part that I listened to and wrote down on the second CD was for Wiggly Willy/Wilmas. So it will take me a little bit of time to do that one too on the other 3 styles.

Ok.....I hope this helps some of ya'll! It did me:D

joandsarah77
05-26-2004, 08:00 PM
Wow TinaTx that must have taken you forever to write all that!
What do you do if you can see bits of yourself in at least 3 of these? :D

Brooke
05-27-2004, 12:55 AM
I think I might change my log-in name to "Carla Sue" ;)

Wow! Those personality traits really hit home.....especially the "stacked files" of organized stuff....:eek: ....nobody else I know believes me when I tell them I know where stuff is at! :D Yeah, me and Carla are pretty tight and somewhat overbearing, but Sue certainly makes her presence known to me.;)

My ds will soon be renamed "William Carl Sam"--yeah, I know...he's a complex child.:cool: Although it may be early to rename dd, I think "Paula" will be at least one of her personas--funny how that one seems to be detectable at an earlier age.:D Or maybe I notice it more because she is everything that I am not! :eek:

Thanks, Paula....(clears throat)...uh, I mean Tina! This has really opened my eyes to teaching strengths/weaknesses and how to teach with the styles and to them. :cool:

TinaTx
05-27-2004, 04:36 PM
Jo

We had to take written assessments. If you did the written assessment there would be no question as to which personality was dominant. So I tried to type everything as she gave it to us since i knew ya'll couldn't take it. The other personality has a streak in it here and there. I think her assessment might actually be in her book too.

Matter of fact for most people, including myself, it was hard to tell which part of the second learning style I was because I had some of this and that.

However, for the dominant one.....it was pretty much in my face! and everyone else there when we finished! We didn't know each other, but after the assessment, we all pretty much felt well ******* :o :D , kind of exposing our *inner self* PHEW! That was deep!!! LOL

I swing between Social Sue and Competent Carla.....I have a streak of creativity that even makes me insane because I will say *Ok.lets do this, or do this to for this subject* which is something totally different than the lesson plan. At the same time, I tend to be *fixated*, much like a bulldog when it comes to seeing a *follow through* on plans...

So identifying the second one, acording the workshop leader is much harder! You may just be a bit or piece unlike your dominant learning sytle.

So I'm still pondering on the second....

Were you able to determine which one is your *dominant*?

I will also, when I have time to type those handwritten notes, post how to teach that personality style.....that might help some more!

Yep...it took a little bit of time, but i enjoyed it...and I have a *schedule* as to how long I stay on the computer!

Also, I would of given my *eye teeth* to have been a little more informed about teaching my kids the first and let me see the second, third, fourth and now starting my 5th year of hsing:D LOL

TinaTx
05-27-2004, 04:42 PM
Brooke...girl honestly, you had me rolling!!!!

If you change your name to Carla Sue, I'll follow with Paula Sue.....hee hee:p :D

Yep, the workshop leader said by her 3rd kid, it was more easy for her to detect learning styles because some like Perfect Paul do show up clearly. Her son was 4yo and was already stacking his play cars real neatly one behind the other in ORDER....

He is 10 yo and YEP he is still Perfect Paul! So she said its possible to detect earlier!!! Just remember, she said they are *subject to change without notice* when they are young and up until about 10 yos.

joandsarah77
05-27-2004, 06:20 PM
Well I really can't see a dominant one- so does that mean I'm dysfunctional :eek: :o This is what I see-
cc has stacks everywhere kind of cluttered but she knows where everything is. Ok so I don't know were EVERYTHING is but I do have stuff filed in boxes under beds so it's kind of 1/2 organized. I have sperts.
cc She likes to work alone or independently. This mom loves the computer, yep and yep.
cc She does like making long term plans and can be very tenacious about getting these plans done. My dh knows better then to throw any spanners on my plans :D

ss set unrealistic standards for themselves.
ss Conflict is very difficult to for them to handle-take me away!:eek:
ss Favorite subjects are creative writing, literature yep and yep
ss WL shows a picture of SS leaving a co-op,and she doesn't have her keys,eyeglasses or purse. She has Perfect Paula daughter who is running behind her saying *here mom I found these* :D lol guess who is always loosing her sunglasses :cool: lol.

pp They love to know how things are going to go and how the rhythm of the day will be.
pp Example the WL gave is that dh phones PP and tells her he is bring the boss home for supper at 5:00. BIG BOO BOO! YOu don't do that PP. You don't mess with her schedule. She needs time to prepare, plan and set things up.
pp she will always be on time

Earthy
05-28-2004, 11:15 AM
The styles you listed are great. Did you get them from a book? I have read through them all and tried to pick out my child. But, I don't know which one he actually is. I had fun doing it! These are what I picked out of my child:


Perfect Paul
=hardworking, conventional, accurate, stable, dependable, consistent, factual and organized.These kids enjoy routine and predictable situations. They follow rules and expect others to do so too. Sometimes they are called the little policeman because if someones not doing what they are suppose to be doing, you can bet they'll be sure to let them know.
=What they really like to know is what is going to happen in advance. These children also are the ones that ask you before you go to bed *Mommy,what are we going to do tomorrow?*.They love to know how things are going to go and how the rhythm of the day will be. They do best in a well ordered, quiet and highly structured enviroment.
=does not do well in a situation where there is a lot of chaos.
=They like schedule, and you don't mess with PP schedule.
=favorite subject: math
=big collectors


Social Sam
=They want everything to be as it should. Generally they do well in school, they are high achievers.


Competent Carl
=objective, knowledgeable, thorough, structured, logical, deliberate and systematic. This person is a very scientific thinker. Sometimes as children they are called the little scientist. They are curious and analytical,systematic.
=The other one has piles of *stacked files* everywhere.
=favorite subjects are: science, math
=They come off as bookish kinds of kids because they love trivia and facts, and just enjoying delving.
=They take a long time to do their work and it can be very frusterating to work with them because they are sorta of slow because they have to be so thorough

Examples of my child:

1) Will read anything, spends a long time reading cereal boxes in the morning. Tells me not even a blade of grass goes unnoticed with him. Has tons of books piles everywhere on his bed.

2) When we go to the store, he will ask what is on my list, I will tell him, he memorizes everything and if I get something that is not on the list I will never hear the end of it. I stopped telling him the list!

3) When we go out to various place, he will ask where we are going. If we go to one extra places or not the place we said, we will never hear the end of it. On and on about how we said we were only going to these two places or we were getting something at this place and didn't.

3) LOVES Science, Math and collecting shells-rocks-bugs-nuts-leaves etc. Piles everywhere of jars or these things. Wants to keep everythiing.

4) Extremely creative, can make anything out of ANYTING AT ALL. Cut up paper, makeing a large pile of tiny pieces of paper and then proceded to put them together to make an airplane! Draws a picture of something and then puts Legos together to make the same picture. In his room is a large cardboard box and he has made it into a space place, adding radars on the top and so forth. VERY good at being creative and making things small or big. Wants to keep everything he makes, if I had we would have to buy another house by now!

Since he was little I have always said he needed a daytimer. He will ask when, where, what time are we going and how long are we staying; and we had better keep it like that!!

Brooke
05-28-2004, 09:11 PM
I have a 5yo Perfect Paula at home. Can anyone tell me where I can pick up the "well ordered, quiet and highly structured enviroment" that Perfect Paulas are said to thrive in? Also, how much do they usually cost? Thanks, you ladies are great!;)

TinaTx
05-28-2004, 09:26 PM
Nellie ......

This information comes from Cindy Tobias. She wrote a book on learning styles. The title escapes me..The terms are by Cathy Duffy. But Cindy Tobias is the one with the *know how* on identify.Actually she will be speaking at the SETHSA convention in Houston. It is probably the hugest curriculum fair in Texas. Compared to the 3 workshops per hour going on at the one I just attended, this curriculum fair has 12 workshops going on!:eek: Also Jim Weiss will conduct a couple of workshops. Anyway, I strayed here a bit, but I'm excited because I will be going to that one next week too:rolleyes: YIPPEE:D

I have read several books on learning styles, and pretty well had us identified. However, its nice to get this information somewhat condensed. So thats what they did at one of the workshops I went to.

I looked back over my notes and just from what you said about your son, it sounds a LOT like Perfect Paul with a Competent Carl streak. PP, CC and SS all do want things like they should and all of them are generally high achievers in school because of their this *has to be right* quality. SS is the only one that can slide on at times. BUT not PP or CC.

Tina

TinaTx
05-28-2004, 09:46 PM
Brooke.....

Remember that even though you have a PPaula, you need to incorporate your style of teaching too, or YOU won't be happy!

PPaula as teachers like teacher manuals and loooove curriculum put together so that they can decide *yes this or no this*.

As a student PP though she just needs *sameness*, not necessarily a structured curriculum if you can't stand it. Now when she gets older like in 6th grade or so and can work on her on then yes she will probably want one. For now though, one suggestion was to find one workbook/book/project that you want her to work out of and let her know *this will be done, then on to the next*. Then STICK to it, unless of course there is a major problem. However if its just a case that it makes you crazy as the WL said,but she seems to thrive then let her be.

Also, they need schedule. I have a chore chart for the boys to mark off. Its simple. I typed it, and laminated it with one of those laminating sheets you get from Walmart.

For me, If I can check something off in the day I have some *saneness* LOL. I have to feel like i've accomplished something. For her it can be as something simple as writing out her schedule so she knows at this time she will do this, and this time that. Just don't make it so detailed, so that IT and SHE drives you crazy if you don't like that. Make it just enough so that she blossoms in her structure.

Also keep dates or appointment. If you can't keep a date, let her know as far ahead as possible. They don't like change. If you don't know for sure about something, don't tell her until you do otherwise she will worry about it.The WL gave an example of a mother who brought a little boy in for a gymnastic class for a makeup class. He just said *this isn't my class, I don't know these kids* the mother said *oh its ok, its makeup..go ahead* By the end of the class he was sitting in his mothers lap crying. He couldn't do it. His schedule was changed, and mom sprung it on him. So eventually they need to understand that not all things go as planned, and they need time to grieve as the WL said. Just give them space and as they get older they will realize that things do happen unplanned.

Things like a routine work well. Ours is eat breakfast, read a verse or two from the Bible, brush teeth, make bed, do our chores, then start school by 9:00. I have to do the same thing each time we start school for ME and for one Perfect Paul that I have. Somedays you can vary how much housework you may want her to do to give you some leeway in your schedule. Not a lot, just the SAME.

WL says this type of child likes drawer organizers. Get her an organizer for her drawer or desk. This will go a long way to her feeling in control and a sense of accomplishment. MY perfect paul had to have his closet organized. I helped him..shirts on bottom and pants on top were enough to make him feel like this is my closet.

I'm not all the way through on Perfect Paul/Paula's recommendations so I know there will be more....those were the ones I remembered from the workshop

Tina

Brooke
05-29-2004, 08:20 AM
Tina,

I was being entirely sarcastic in my last post.....I was actually thinking of a self-contained habitat like an antfarm...lol :D

However, my underlying fear (of which I am still in denial) must have shown through.:eek: I'm really gonna have to adjust to her needs. Ds is self-motivated, as am I, in his own persuits. Hopefully I can introduce some sort of structure guideline for her if she seems to need it and she'll be able to take off on her own with it. I will obviously be available to teach her when she is ready. My biggest struggle might be ds learning to be patient when I am on dd's scheduled time. We'll see how it goes. Dd is 5 and has been working through the "things don't always go as planned" thing. Dh is going to have to make some changes, too. He is one to get excited about doing something and jump the gun in telling the kids, so when things don't work out the kids are devestated and he can't understand why they don't understand. Dh is also a routine guy, but change is okay as long is he is the master of it. :D

Oh, yeah, I firmly believe we are given certain personality types in our children so that we can grow while they are growing too.