PDA

View Full Version : Yet another reason to homeschool


RoadRunner
06-24-2008, 03:46 AM
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,370483,00.html


Sick, sick "socializing".

daddys3chicks
06-24-2008, 07:14 AM
Ugh. And another - the pregnancy pact:

http://www.time.com/time/world/article/0,8599,1815845,00.html

scoobydoo7
06-24-2008, 07:35 AM
I found both of those articles to be distrurbing. GOOD NIGHT!!

How intensely sad to be scared and so upset about school that you make yourself physically sick. Doesn't that break your heart? :(

And the pregnancy pact!?! :!: Who has ever heard of such a thing? My goodness. To me this stems from a fatherless society. The children that have grown up without fathers or stable father figures think it is okay to choose to raise children alone. And purposely picking out a 24 year old homeless man? That is really sad.

RoadRunner
06-24-2008, 07:49 AM
My son has been beaten up and thrown rocks at this year and he has repeatedly told the teachers but it wasn't until I called the office and ranted and raved that the kid was finally suspended.

Of course, he will be back in class in the fall...

Actressdancer
06-24-2008, 08:19 AM
I was badly beaten up on a regular basis at school, as young as 3rd grade (when I moved to the a school). This continued until the day I left my Junior Year. I complained, my mom complained, my step-dad yelled. But no one cared.

They would blame it on me: "if she'd stop provoking them..." though I did nothing of the sort. Or "if she'd stop crying over it, they wouldn't think it was so funny anymore and leave her alone." And my personal favorite, "she needs to grow up and get over it." I'm sorry, I didn't realize that part of being "grown up" was to allow others to physically assault you at will.

WIMom
06-24-2008, 08:32 AM
Thank you for posting that article! It reminds me of one of the reason's why I'm homeschooling. I especially liked this part of the article.

"It's evident in preschool. `If you don't let me play with that toy I won't invite you to my birthday party,"' Ludwig said. "Intentional exclusion is bullying. Giving the silent treatment is bullying. It's not a part of growing up. It's not something kids can work out themselves. It's not normal conflict. We've normalized this abnormal behavior in our society."

The school my son attended for kindergarten was big on having children work out their own problems and no tattling. The school staff also told kids that they were allowed to exclude kids from playing if they didn't want to play with someone (I heard the teacher telling the kids that one day when I volunteered). No wonder my son had stomachaches, headaches , cried many mornings and begged not to go to school. He also begged me to get a job at the school, so I could be at the building all day. My husband and I ended up taking turns every few weeks to visit our son at lunch and to volunteer. We stayed through recess to make sure our son was ok. One of the weeks we weren't there he was kicked in the eye. I think that was an accident though, but then again who knows. I better stop now before this turns into another rant about ds's school experience (I didn't even talk about his strict and picky teacher who yelled a lot). Oh ya....my son cried when kids picked on him, so it was suggested that he go to social skills class to learn how to be more assertive and not cry to make it worse.

RoadRunner
06-24-2008, 08:39 AM
I had the same experience from first grade to seventh grade, regular beatings and mental abuse from the kids at school and noone cared.

But when I started 7th grade and my new teachers found out, they did something. One of the teachers risked getting suspended because he hung a kid up on one of the hooks in the hallway after he had slammed my head into the brick wall.

After that, I was left alone and slowly started making friends. I went to my 10 year reunion and boy, were the tables turned. My tormentors were washed-out, divorced, cab drivers and alcoholics/drug addicts, me and my friends were doing great in careers and family lives.

kyzg
06-24-2008, 09:02 AM
Thank you for posting that article! It reminds me of one of the reason's why I'm homeschooling. I especially liked this part of the article.

"It's evident in preschool. `If you don't let me play with that toy I won't invite you to my birthday party,"' Ludwig said. "Intentional exclusion is bullying. Giving the silent treatment is bullying. It's not a part of growing up. It's not something kids can work out themselves. It's not normal conflict. We've normalized this abnormal behavior in our society."

The school my son attended for kindergarten was big on having children work out their own problems and no tattling. The school staff also told kids that they were allowed to exclude kids from playing if they didn't want to play with someone (I heard the teacher telling the kids that one day when I volunteered). No wonder my son had stomachaches, headaches , cried many mornings and begged not to go to school. He also begged me to get a job at the school, so I could be at the building all day. My husband and I ended up taking turns every few weeks to visit our son at lunch and to volunteer. We stayed through recess to make sure our son was ok. One of the weeks we weren't there he was kicked in the eye. I think that was an accident though, but then again who knows. I better stop now before this turns into another rant about ds's school experience (I didn't even talk about his strict and picky teacher who yelled a lot). Oh ya....my son cried when kids picked on him, so it was suggested that he go to social skills class to learn how to be more assertive and not cry to make it worse.

Sounds more like "kindergarbage" than kindergarten!

mamamuse
06-24-2008, 09:07 AM
My blood pressure is rising just from reading that article and the responses to it, hearing how schools handle--or rather, DON'T handle--bullying.

The same thing happened to Zach, where HE was made out to be the one with the problem, just like Amie was talking about. Or the example of sending a kindergartner to "social skills" class to they can learn not to cry when being picked on. I just want to scream when I read stuff like that!

When did it become expected for a FIVE year old to learn how to stuff down their emotions when they're being bullied? Why does anyone even think that's ok???

It just makes me sick to see what's happening in our schools today. Praise the Lord for the freedom to homeschool and check our kids out of that mess.

WIMom
06-24-2008, 09:08 AM
Amen!

I also should add that not all of my son's days at kindergarten were bad. He did have some really good and fun days, but the bad days started to outweigh the good days. The social skills class did help him in some ways. They did role playing and taught him how to handle things a bit differently. With that said, my son did start to wonder why he was in a special class at the end of the day with all of the bullies (they were called the kids who make bad choices).

Tbog
06-24-2008, 09:23 AM
I believe it. I know how rude some of the little girls were in dd's class last year, and she was only in Kindergarten. I would much rather she hang around with her friends at church whose parents I know and trust to nip behaviour like that in the bud.

RoadRunner
06-24-2008, 09:26 AM
Couldn't agree more, Tbog. I want to be able to select the socializing my kids are subjected to, not have it thrust upon them like in the schools today.

MonkeyMamma
06-24-2008, 09:42 AM
I can't even imagine sending Grace to K next year. She is such a sweet girl with such a caring heart. She would be ruined and crushed by behavior like this.

Ava Rose
06-24-2008, 10:18 AM
So sad. I was never a victim of bullying...but it would break my heart for my kids to be. I just can't imagine how kids can get away with this behavior. Just sickens me.

Mrs. Mommy
06-24-2008, 03:02 PM
I read an article about pregnancy pact and it was very disturbing to me. Hadn't until now seen anything about Barbie Brats. It is sad but true. DS was bullied from 1st grade to 3rd grade and towards the end he absolutely hated school. We were told that he was making too much of things and that he was taking it too personally. Yeah, let me push the teacher and/or principal down and/or hold him/her down so others can hit him/her and see how personally things get takenthen. It was very stongly suggested that we hold DS back in 2nd grade due to his immature social skills so that he can catch up to his peers. Academically he was doing really well but the school had me pretty convinced that DS needed some time to grow up. Thankfully, DH was stood his ground with me and DS was moved on to 3rd grade. That year wasn't great and after much discussion DS homeschooled for 4th (and will continue). HSing has made a huge difference and he has gotten some counseling and that helped alot. There were things that were shared in counseling that I did not know about. It was all I could do to not go in the school and rattle some cages.....BIG TIME. I know that some of the bullies are kids whose parents, grandparents, etc volunteer at or donate to the school etc. Basically they are well known and "needed" and the school did not want to rock the boat. Grrrr....just gets me angry talking about it.

mamamuse
06-24-2008, 03:22 PM
Oh Sheila, our stories are so similar! :cry: We had the same situation at Zach's school, where the bullies' parents were close friends of the school's owners and did all sorts of volunteering, etc. So the owner/administrator would NOT do what needed to be done to these kids, and it just made me sick. I even posted here a while back about how to get over my anger towards the woman in charge...I'd heard that the school was expanding, and it angered me so much to think of her prospering when she treats people so poorly. The thing is, until she turned on us, I'd have defended her to anyone...and often did, because she had/has such a negative reputation in the community. It was only after our situation that I realized that she had rightly earned that reputation.

I ran into her today, and probably will see her again before the week is out because Zach is going to the same VBS her kids are attending. I replied to her "hello" when I saw her this morning, but I don't plan to have any further interaction with her, if I can help it.

Anyway...my heart goes out to you. It's a hard thing to go through, but our kids are flourishing now at home, and that's what matters! :D

scoobydoo7
06-24-2008, 04:10 PM
I even posted here a while back about how to get over my anger towards the woman in charge...I'd heard that the school was expanding, and it angered me so much to think of her prospering when she treats people so poorly.



Lean on these verses:

Proverbs 11:17-19 (New Living Translation)
18 Evil people get rich for the moment,
but the reward of the godly will last.

Jeremiah 17:9-10 (New Living Translation)
9 ďThe human heart is the most deceitful of all things,
and desperately wicked.
Who really knows how bad it is?
10 But I, the Lord, search all hearts
and examine secret motives.
I give all people their due rewards,
according to what their actions deserve.Ē

Tbog
06-24-2008, 04:43 PM
Nicole--thank you for posting those verses. The one from Proverbs really hit home for me.

daddys3chicks
06-24-2008, 05:18 PM
Even in 4th grade it starts. Not physically, but emotionally. Apparently some of the girls are "voting" people out of their groups, and then snubbing them.

Think they get that from tv?

Mrs. Mommy
06-24-2008, 05:55 PM
Oh Sheila, our stories are so similar! :cry: We had the same situation at Zach's school, where the bullies' parents were close friends of the school's owners and did all sorts of volunteering, etc. So the owner/administrator would NOT do what needed to be done to these kids, and it just made me sick. I even posted here a while back about how to get over my anger towards the woman in charge...I'd heard that the school was expanding, and it angered me so much to think of her prospering when she treats people so poorly. The thing is, until she turned on us, I'd have defended her to anyone...and often did, because she had/has such a negative reputation in the community. It was only after our situation that I realized that she had rightly earned that reputation.

I ran into her today, and probably will see her again before the week is out because Zach is going to the same VBS her kids are attending. I replied to her "hello" when I saw her this morning, but I don't plan to have any further interaction with her, if I can help it.

Anyway...my heart goes out to you. It's a hard thing to go through, but our kids are flourishing now at home, and that's what matters! :D


Thanks! It was hard listening to him during the counseling. He loves being home and is like a different kid.

Mrs. Mommy
06-24-2008, 05:56 PM
Nicole,
Thanks for posting the verses. I will do well to remember them.

homeschool2boys
06-25-2008, 12:36 PM
I used to worry about socializing but it really put it into perspective when I read The Well Trained Mind. The kind of socializing that schools have isnít even normal and can be actually dangerous to children. Where else in life do you sit in a room with 25 other people the exact same age as yourself? Itís really bad for kids to socialize in that way; you get the "clicks" of popular kids, and the ones everyone likes to make fun of and torture.

A few years ago in this town a young high school boy was even beaten to death in a park by, I believe, it was 3 other high school kids. This year a young high school girl was raped in the schools restroom. If thatís societyís ideal of socializing then they can have it.

scoobydoo7
06-25-2008, 04:35 PM
Nicole,
Thanks for posting the verses. I will do well to remember them.

I have had a great deal of forgiveness experience as my first husband bailed out on me and my oldest daughter when he thought the grass was greener elsewhere.

Then my second MIL is....difficult at times to say the very least. I could write a book - no joke. :( The Lord commands that we forgive, so once I get that part down, I struggle with the forgetting part. I guess HE understands and knows I am a work in progress. ;)

wolverine_jd94
06-25-2008, 06:42 PM
I pulled my dd from public school last year because of the bullying problem at her school. It got to the point that she was making herself physically sick at the thought of going to school in the mornings. This one girl didn't just bully the kids at the school but bullied the teachers also. They refused to do anything about her but my dd and a few other kids were routinely kept after school for tattling when they were being threatened! No matter how often I complained they wouldn't do anything about it. My dd's 5th grade teacher told me that she wouldn't try to get the girl ( who had failed the 5th grade already twice before) suspended because she feared what the girl would do to her. The day the teacher told me that was the day I pulled my dd to homeschool with her older brother. I kick myself everyday about having her there for the length of time she was. I wish that I had pulled her when I had pulled my ds almost 4 years ago. It's very scary to me that there is such a bullying problem and not a lot being done about it in the schools.

momngram
06-27-2008, 07:30 AM
My dd was beaten up in the bathroom when she was in first grade by a second grade girl. The school never called me. She came home bruised and in hysterics. It was horrible. She was never able to use a public toliet in school again. We eventually pulled her out of school and Hs'd. I worked in the ps for several years. Bullying has increased over the last 6 years to the point of gangs in kindergarten. The schools don't want the publicity, so they bury it. Even the teachers have gotten on the bully bandwagon. If they don't like a child, they blacklist them with the other teachers. It's a product of a Godless society.

Ava Rose
06-27-2008, 10:30 AM
My dd was beaten up in the bathroom when she was in first grade by a second grade girl. The school never called me. She came home bruised and in hysterics. It was horrible. She was never able to use a public toliet in school again. We eventually pulled her out of school and Hs'd. I worked in the ps for several years. Bullying has increased over the last 6 years to the point of gangs in kindergarten. The schools don't want the publicity, so they bury it. Even the teachers have gotten on the bully bandwagon. If they don't like a child, they blacklist them with the other teachers. It's a product of a Godless society.


WOW! It has been a long time since I was in school and my kids have never been to school...so I find this shocking and scary. Very scary...especially since I homeschool on a thread...never knowing when finances will force me to put my kids in school. We try so hard to homeschool on our budget but sometimes it gets overwhelming. However, this is more reason to keep trying and praying!